“These be virtues great indeed,” quoth Calandrino; “but where is this second stone to be found?” Whereto Maso made answer that there were usually some to be found in the Mugnone. “And what are its size and colour?” quoth Calandrino. “The size varies,” replied Maso, “for some are bigger and some smaller than others; but all are of the same colour, being nearly black.” All these matters duly marked and fixed in his memory, Calandrino made as if he had other things to attend to, and took his leave of Maso with the intention of going in quest of the stone, but not until he had let his especial friends, Bruno and Buffalmacco, know of his project. So, that no time might be lost, but, postponing everything else, they might begin the quest at once, he set about looking for them, and spent the whole morning in the search.
At length, when ’twas already past none, he called to mind that they would be at work in the Faentine women’s convent, and though ’twas excessively hot, he let nothing stand in his way, but at a pace that was more like a run than a walk, hied him thither; and so soon as he had made them ware of his presence, thus he spoke:—”Comrades, so you are but minded to hearken to me, ’tis in our power to become the richest men in Florence; for I am informed by one that may be trusted that there is a kind of stone in the Mugnone which renders whoso carries it invisible to every other soul in the world. Wherefore, methinks, we were wise to let none have the start of us, but go search for this stone without any delay.
We shall find it without a doubt, for I know what ’tis like, and when we have found it, we have but to put it in the purse, and get us to the moneychangers, whose counters, as you know, are always laden with groats and florins, and help ourselves to as many as we have a mind to. No one will see us, and so, hey presto! we shall be rich folk in the twinkling of an eye, and have no more need to go besmearing the walls all day long like so many snails.”
Whereat Bruno and Buffalmacco began only to laugh, and exchanging glances, made as if they marvelled exceedingly, and expressed approval of Calandrino’s project. Then Buffalmacco asked, what might be the name of the stone. Calandrino, like the numskull that he was, had already forgotten the name: so he made answer:—”Why need we concern ourselves with the name, since we know the stone’s virtue? methinks, we were best to go look for it, and waste no more time.” “Well, well,” said Bruno, “but what are the size and shape of the stone?” “They are of all sizes and shapes,” said Calandrino, “but they are all pretty nearly black; wherefore, methinks, we were best to collect all the black stones that we see until we hit upon it: and so, let us be off, and lose no more time.”
“Nay, but,” said Bruno, “wait a bit.” And turning to Buffalmacco:—”Methinks,” quoth he, “that Calandrino says well: but I doubt this is not the time for such work, seeing that the sun is high, and his rays so flood the Mugnone as to dry all the stones; insomuch that stones will now shew as white that in the morning, before the sun had dried them, would shew as black: besides which, to-day being a working-day, there will be for one cause or another folk not a few about the Mugnone, who, seeing us, might guess what we were come for, and peradventure do the like themselves; whereby it might well be that they found the stone, and we might miss the trot by trying after the amble. Wherefore, so you agree, methinks we were best to go about it in the morning, when we shall be better able to distinguish the black stones from the white, and on a holiday, when there will be none to see us.”
Buffalmacco’s advice being approved by Bruno, Calandrino chimed in; and so ’twas arranged that they should all three go in quest of the stone on the following Sunday. So Calandrino, having besought his companions above all things to let never a soul in the world hear aught of the matter, for that it had been imparted to him in strict confidence, and having told them what he had heard touching the land of Bengodi, the truth of which he affirmed with oaths, took leave of them; and they concerted their plan, while Calandrino impatiently expected the Sunday morning.
Whereon, about dawn, he arose, and called them; and forth they issued by the Porta a San Gallo, and hied them to the Mugnone, and following its course, began their quest of the stone, Calandrino, as was natural, leading the way, and jumping lightly from rock to rock, and wherever he espied a black stone, stooping down, picking it up and putting it in the fold of his tunic, while his comrades followed, picking up a stone here and a stone there.
Thus it was that Calandrino had not gone far, before, finding that there was no more room in his tunic, he lifted the skirts of his gown, which was not cut after the fashion of Hainault, and gathering them under his leathern girdle and making them fast on every side, thus furnished himself with a fresh and capacious lap, which, however, taking no long time to fill, he made another lap out of his cloak, which in like manner he soon filled with stones. Wherefore, Bruno and Buffalmacco seeing that Calandrino was well laden, and that ’twas nigh upon breakfast-time, and the moment for action come:—”Where is Calandrino?” quoth Bruno to Buffalmacco.
Whereto Buffalmacco, who had Calandrino full in view, having first turned about and looked here, there and everywhere, made answer:—”That wot not I; but not so long ago he was just in front of us.” “Not so long ago, forsooth,” returned Bruno; “’tis my firm belief that at this very moment he is at breakfast at home, having left to us this wild-goose chase of black stones in the Mugnone.” “Marry,” quoth Buffalmacco, “he did but serve us right so to trick us and leave, seeing that we were so silly as to believe him. Why, who could have thought that any but we would have been so foolish as to believe that a stone of such rare virtue was to be found in the Mugnone?”
Calandrino, hearing their colloquy, forthwith imagined that he had the stone in his hand, and by its virtue, though present, was invisible to them; and overjoyed by such good fortune, would not say a word to undeceive them, but determined to hie him home, and accordingly faced about, and put himself in motion. Whereupon:—”Ay!” quoth Buffalmacco to Bruno, “what are we about that we go not back too?” “Go we then,” said Bruno; “but by God I swear that Calandrino shall never play me another such trick; and as to this, were I nigh him, as I have been all the morning, I would teach him to remember it for a month or so, such a reminder would I give him in the heel with this stone.”
And even as he spoke he threw back his arm, and launched the stone against Calandrino’s heel. Galled by the blow, Calandrino gave a great hop and a slight gasp, but said nothing, and halted not. Then, picking out one of the stones that he had collected:—”Bruno,” quoth Buffalmacco, “see what a goodly stone I have here, would it might but catch Calandrino in the back;” and forthwith he discharged it with main force upon the said back. And in short, suiting action to word, now in this way, now in that, they stoned him all the way up the Mugnone as far as the Porta a San Gallo. There they threw away the stones they had picked up, and tarried a while with the customs’ officers, who, being primed by them, had let Calandrino pass unchallenged, while their laughter knew no bounds.
So Calandrino, halting nowhere, betook him to his house, which was hard by the corner of the Macina. And so well did Fortune prosper the trick, that all the way by the stream and across the city there was never a soul that said a word to Calandrino, and indeed he encountered but few, for most folk were at breakfast.
But no sooner was Calandrino thus gotten home with his stones, than it so happened that his good lady, Monna Tessa, shewed her fair face at the stair’s head, and catching sight of him, and being somewhat annoyed by his long delay, chid him, saying:—”What the Devil brings thee here so late? Must breakfast wait thee until all other folk have had it?” Calandrino caught the words, and angered and mortified to find that he was not invisible, broke out with:—”Alas! curst woman! so ’twas thou! Thou hast undone me: but, God’s faith, I will pay thee out.”
Whereupon he was upstairs in a trice, and having discharged his great load of stones in a parlour, rushed with fell
