STEPAN [shrilly]: Keep quiet! I forbid you to speak of that!
KALIAYEV [angrily]: Why must I keep quiet? I took it lying down when you said I didn’t believe in the revolution. Which was as good as telling me that I was ready to kill the Grand Duke for nothing; that I was a common murderer. I let you say that—and somehow I kept my hands off you!
ANNENKOV: Yanek!
STEPAN: It’s killing for nothing, sometimes, not to kill enough.
ANNENKOV: Stepan, none of us here agrees with you. And we have made our decision.
STEPAN: Then I bow to it. Only, let me tell you once again that squeamishness is out of place in work like ours. We’re murderers, and we have chosen to be murderers.
KALIAYEV [losing all self-control]: That’s a lie! I have chosen death so as to prevent murder from triumphing in the world. I’ve chosen to be innocent.
ANNENKOV: Yanek! Stepan! That’s enough of it. The group has decided that the slaughter of these children would serve no purpose. We must start again from the beginning, and be ready for another try at it in two days’ time.
STEPAN: And supposing the children are there again?
KALIAYEV: Then we shall await another opportunity.
STEPAN: And supposing the Grand Duchess is with the Duke?
KALIAYEV: Her I shall not spare.
ANNENKOV: Listen!
[A rumble of carriage wheels. KALIAYEV is drawn irresistibly to the window. The carriage approaches, rattles past, recedes.]
VOINOV [looking at DORA, who has come toward him]: Well, Dora, that settles it; we’ll have to make another try …
STEPAN [disdainfully]: Yes, Alexis, another try!… But of course we must do something for our precious honor!
CURTAIN
ACT III
Two days later; the same place, at the same hour.
STEPAN: What’s Voinov up to? He should be here.
ANNENKOV: He needs some sleep, and we’ve still a good half hour before us.
STEPAN: Suppose I went down to see if there’s any news?
ANNENKOV: No. We must take no unnecessary risks. [A short silence.] Yanek, why are you so silent?
KALIAYEV: I’ve nothing to say. But you needn’t feel any anxiety about me. [A ring at the bell.] Ah, here he is. [VOINOV enters.] Did you sleep?
VOINOV: Yes, a bit.
ANNENKOV: Did you sleep all night?
VOINOV: No, not quite all the night.
ANNENKOV: Well, you should have. There are ways of making oneself sleep.
VOINOV: I tried them. But I must have been overtired.
ANNENKOV: Your hands are shaking.
VOINOV: No. [All gaze at him.] Why are you eying me like that? Surely there’s nothing so terrible about one’s feeling tired?
ANNENKOV: That’s not the point. It’s about you we’re troubled.
VOINOV [with sudden vehemence]: You should have thought about all that two days ago. If the bomb had been thrown then, we wouldn’t be feeling tired today.
KALIAYEV: I’m sorry, Alexis; it’s all my fault. I’ve made things harder for everybody.
VOINOV [in a quieter tone]: What do you mean? Why harder? I’m tired, and that’s all there is to it!
DORA: Well, it won’t be long now. In an hour’s time all will be over.
VOINOV: Yes, all will be over. In an hour’s time. [He glances uneasily round the room. DORA goes up to him and clasps his hand. He leaves his hand in hers for a moment, then snatches it away.] Boria, I want to talk to you.
ANNENKOV: In private?
VOINOV: Yes, in private.
[They exchange glances; then KALIAYEV, DORA, and STEPAN leave the room.]
ANNENKOV: Yes? What is it? [VOINOV keeps silent.] Out with it, Alexis!
VOINOV: I’m ashamed, Boria. [Silence.] Bitterly ashamed. But I must tell you the truth.
ANNENKOV: You don’t want to throw the bomb, is that it?
VOINOV: I … I can’t bring myself to do it.
ANNENKOV: Do you mean you’ve panicked at the last moment? Is that all? There’s nothing shameful in that.
VOINOV: I’m afraid, and I’m ashamed of my fear.
ANNENKOV: I can’t understand. The day before yesterday you were so gay—and brave. Your eyes were sparkling when you went out.
VOINOV: I’ve always been afraid. Only somehow, the day before yesterday, I’d screwed up my courage. When I heard the carriage in the distance I said to myself: “Good! Only a minute more!” I gritted my teeth, every muscle in my body was taut as steel, and if I’d flung the bomb at that moment I really believe its mere impact would have killed the Grand Duke. I waited, waited, for the first explosion, which was going to release that pent-up energy. But it never came. The carriage rumbled by. How fast it went! It was past me in a flash. And then I realized that Yanek hadn’t thrown his bomb. I went cold all over, icy cold. And suddenly all the strength went out of me and I felt weak as a child.
ANNENKOV: Don’t take it to heart, Alexis. That was just a passing lapse; life and strength come back.
VOINOV: Two days have gone by but they haven’t come back to me. Just now I lied to you; I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. My heart was racing, racing.… Oh, Boria, I’m so miserable, so sick of everything!
ANNENKOV: Don’t let what’s happened get you down, Alexis. We’ve all had the same experience at some time or another. You won’t be asked to throw the bomb. You must take a month’s rest in Finland, and then come back to us.
VOINOV: No, it’s not so simple as all that. If I don’t throw the bomb today I shall never throw one.
ANNENKOV: Oh, come now! You’re exaggerating.
VOINOV: No, Boria, it’s the simple truth. I’m not made for terrorism; I realize that now. The best thing is for me to leave you. I’ll do my bit in propaganda, on committees, and so forth.
ANNENKOV: The risk’s the same.
VOINOV: Yes. But you can keep your eyes shut; you don’t know—and that makes all the difference.
ANNENKOV: I don’t follow.
VOINOV: One doesn’t see what happens. It’s easy to attend meetings, work out plans, and then pass orders for their carrying out. You risk your life of course, but there’s a sort of veil between you and the—the real thing. It’s a very different matter going down into the street when night is falling on the city, taking your stand among the crowds of people hurrying home to their evening meal, their children, the wife who’s watching on the doorstep—and having to stand there, grim and silent, with the weight of the bomb tugging at your arm—and knowing that in three minutes, in two minutes, in a few seconds, you will dash out toward a carriage, bomb in hand. That’s what terrorist action means and I know now that I couldn’t start it all over again without feeling all the blood drained from my veins. Yes, I’m bitterly ashamed. I aimed too high. I must be given the place I am fit for. Quite a humble place, in the rank and file. The only one of which I am worthy.
ANNENKOV: There’s no such place for any of us. All our paths lead to the same end: jail, the gallows.
VOINOV: Yes, but you don’t see them as you see the man you have to kill. You have to imagine them. And, luckily for me, I have no imagination. [With a brief, nervous laugh] Do you know, I’ve never really believed in the secret police! Absurd, isn’t it, for a terrorist? I’ll believe they exist only when I get my first kick in the belly. Not before.
ANNENKOV: And when you are in prison? In prison you can’t help knowing, and seeing. There’s no more shutting your eyes to the facts.
VOINOV: In prison you have no more decisions to make. What a relief to feel that everything’s decided for you! You haven’t got to tell yourself: “Now it’s up to you, you must decide on the moment when to strike.” One thing I’m sure of now is that I shall not try to escape; for escaping, too, you need to make decisions, you have to take the initiative. If you don’t try to escape, the others keep the initiative—they do all the work!
ANNENKOV: Sometimes the work they do is—hanging you!
VOINOV: I know that. But dying won’t be so hard as carrying my life and another man’s in the hollow of my hand and having to decide on the moment when I fling them both into a fiery death. No, Boria, the only way I have of making good is to accept myself as—what I am. [ANNENKOV keeps silent.] Even cowards can help the revolution. It’s up to them to find out in just what way they can be useful.
ANNENKOV: Then, in the last analysis, we all are cowards. Only, we don’t always have opportunities of showing ourselves up.… That’s settled then, Alexis; you’ll do as you prefer.
VOINOV: I prefer to leave at once. I don’t think I could bring myself to face them. But you’ll tell them, won’t you?
ANNENKOV: I’ll tell them. [Moves toward VOINOV.]
VOINOV: Tell Yanek it’s not his fault. And that I love him, as I love you all.
[A short silence. ANNENKOV embraces him.]
ANNENKOV: Good-by, brother. All things have an end. One day Russia will be a happy land.
VOINOV [as he hurries out of the room]: Yes, yes! May she be happy! May she be happy!
ANNENKOV [going to the door]: Come.
[All enter.]
STEPAN: What’s happened?
ANNENKOV: Voinov will not throw the bomb. He’s exhausted and he might muff it.
KALIAYEV: It’s my fault, isn’t it?
ANNENKOV: He asked me to tell you that he loves you.
KALIAYEV: Shall we see him again?
ANNENKOV: Perhaps. For the present, he’s leaving us.
STEPAN: Why?
ANNENKOV: He’ll be more useful on the committees.
STEPAN: Did he ask for this? Has he lost his nerve?
ANNENKOV: No. The decision was mine and mine only.
STEPAN: So
