‘Well, I particularly beg you to remain here with us and not to leave me alone with this … young woman. I only want a few words with her, but God knows what they may make of it. I shouldn’t like Raskolnikov to repeat anything…. You understand what I mean?’
‘I understand!’ Lebeziatnikov saw the point. ‘Yes, you are
right…. Of course, I am convinced personally that you have no reason to be uneasy, but … still, you are right. Certainly I’ll stay. I’ll stand here at the window and not be in your way
… I think you are right …’
Pyotr Petrovitch returned to the sofa, sat down opposite Sonia, looked attentively at her and assumed an extremely dignified, even severe expression, as much as to say, ‘don’t you make any mistake, madam.’ Sonia was overwhelmed with embarrassment.
‘In the first place, Sofya Semyonovna, will you make my excuses to your respected mamma…. That’s right, isn’t it? Katerina Ivanovna stands in the place of a mother to you?’ Pyotr Petrovitch began with great dignity, though affably.
It was evident that his intentions were friendly.
‘Quite so, yes; the place of a mother,’ Sonia answered, timidly and hurriedly.
‘Then will you make my apologies to her? Through inevi-table circumstances I am forced to be absent and shall not be at the dinner in spite of your mamma’s kind invitation.’
‘Yes … I’ll tell her … at once.’
And Sonia hastily jumped up from her seat.
‘Wait, that’s not all,’ Pyotr Petrovitch detained her, smil-ing at her simplicity and ignorance of good manners, ‘and you know me little, my dear Sofya Semyonovna, if you sup-pose I would have ventured to trouble a person like you for a matter of so little consequence affecting myself only. I have another object.’
Sonia sat down hurriedly. Her eyes rested again for an instant on the grey-and-rainbow-coloured notes that re-
mained on the table, but she quickly looked away and fixed her eyes on Pyotr Petrovitch. She felt it horribly indecorous, especially for her to look at another person’s money. She stared at the gold eye-glass which Pyotr Petrovitch held in his left hand and at the massive and extremely handsome ring with a yellow stone on his middle finger. But suddenly she looked away and, not knowing where to turn, ended by staring Pyotr Petrovitch again straight in the face. After a pause of still greater dignity he continued.
‘I chanced yesterday in passing to exchange a couple of words with Katerina Ivanovna, poor woman. That was suficient to enable me to ascertain that she is in a position— preternatural, if one may so express it.’
‘Yes … preternatural …’ Sonia hurriedly assented.
‘Or it would be simpler and more comprehensible to say, ill.’
‘Yes, simpler and more comprehen … yes, ill.’
‘Quite so. So then from a feeling of humanity and so to speak compassion, I should be glad to be of service to her in any way, foreseeing her unfortunate position. I believe the whole of this poverty-stricken family depends now entirely on you?’
‘Allow me to ask,’ Sonia rose to her feet, ‘did you say something to her yesterday of the possibility of a pension? Because she told me you had undertaken to get her one. Was that true?’
‘Not in the slightest, and indeed it’s an absurdity! I merely hinted at her obtaining temporary assistance as the widow of an oficial who had died in the service—if only she has
patronage … but apparently your late parent had not served his full term and had not indeed been in the service at all of late. In fact, if there could be any hope, it would be very ephemeral, because there would be no claim for assistance in that case, far from it…. And she is dreaming of a pension already, he-he-he! … A go-ahead lady!’
‘Yes, she is. For she is credulous and good-hearted, and she believes everything from the goodness of her heart and
… and … and she is like that … yes … You must excuse her,’ said Sonia, and again she got up to go.
‘But you haven’t heard what I have to say.’ ‘No, I haven’t heard,’ muttered Sonia.
‘Then sit down.’ She was terribly confused; she sat down again a third time.
‘Seeing her position with her unfortunate little ones, I should be glad, as I have said before, so far as lies in my power, to be of service, that is, so far as is in my power, not more. One might for instance get up a subscription for her, or a lottery, something of the sort, such as is always ar-ranged in such cases by friends or even outsiders desirous of assisting people. It was of that I intended to speak to you; it might be done.’
‘Yes, yes … God will repay you for it,’ faltered Sonia, gaz-ing intently at Pyotr Petrovitch.
‘It might be, but we will talk of it later. We might be-gin it to-day, we will talk it over this evening and lay the foundation so to speak. Come to me at seven o’clock. Mr. Lebeziatnikov, I hope, will assist us. But there is one cir-cumstance of which I ought to warn you beforehand and for
which I venture to trouble you, Sofya Semyonovna, to come here. In my opinion money cannot be, indeed it’s unsafe to put it into Katerina Ivanovna’s own hands. The dinner to-day is a proof of that. Though she has not, so to speak, a crust of bread for to-morrow and … well, boots or shoes, or anything; she has bought to-day Jamaica rum, and even, I believe, Madeira and … and coffee. I saw it as I passed through. To-morrow it will all fall upon you again, they won’t have a crust of bread. It’s absurd, really, and so, to my thinking, a subscription ought to be raised so that the un-happy widow should not know of the money, but only you, for instance. Am I right?’
‘I don’t know … this is only to-day, once in her life…. She was so anxious to do honour, to celebrate the memory…. And she is very sensible … but just as you think and I shall be very, very … they will all be … and God will reward … and the orphans …’
Sonia burst into tears.
‘Very well, then, keep it in mind; and now will you ac-cept for the benefit of your relation the small sum that I am able to spare, from me personally. I am very anxious that my name should not be mentioned in connection with it. Here … having so to speak anxieties of my own, I cannot do more …’
And Pyotr Petrovitch held out to Sonia a ten-rouble note carefully unfolded. Sonia took it, flushed crimson, jumped up, muttered something and began taking leave. Pyotr Petrovitch accompanied her ceremoniously to the door. She got out of the room at last, agitated and distressed, and
returned to Katerina Ivanovna, overwhelmed with confu-sion.
All this time Lebeziatnikov had stood at the window or walked about the room, anxious not to interrupt the con-versation; when Sonia had gone he walked up to Pyotr Petrovitch and solemnly held out his hand.
‘I heard and saw everything,’ he said, laying stress on the last verb. ‘That is honourable, I mean to say, it’s humane! You wanted to avoid gratitude, I saw! And although I can-not, I confess, in principle sympathise with private charity, for it not only fails to eradicate the evil but even promotes it, yet I must admit that I saw your action with pleasure—yes, yes, I like it.’
‘That’s all nonsense,’ muttered Pyotr Petrovitch, some-what disconcerted, looking carefully at Lebeziatnikov.
‘No, it’s not nonsense! A man who has suffered dis-tress and annoyance as you did yesterday and who yet can sympathise with the misery of others, such a man … even though he is making a social mistake—is still deserving of respect! I did not expect it indeed of you, Pyotr Petrovitch, especially as according to your ideas … oh, what a drawback your ideas are to you! How distressed you are for instance by your ill-luck yesterday,’ cried the simple-hearted Lebezi-atnikov, who felt a return of affection for Pyotr Petrovitch.
‘And, what do you want with marriage, with legal marriage, my dear, noble Pyotr Petrovitch? Why do you cling to this legality of marriage? Well, you may beat me if you like, but I am glad, positively glad it hasn’t come off, that you are free, that you are not quite lost for humanity…. you see, I’ve spo-
ken my mind!’
‘Because I don’t want in your free marriage to be made a fool of and to bring up another man’s children, that’s why I want legal marriage,’ Luzhin replied in order to make some answer.
He seemed preoccupied by something.
‘Children? You referred to children,’ Lebeziatnikov start-ed off like a warhorse at the trumpet call. ‘Children are a social question and a question of first importance, I agree; but the question of children has another solution. Some re-fuse to have children altogether, because they suggest the institution of the family. We’ll speak of children later, but now as to the question of honour, I confess that’s my weak point. That horrid, military, Pushkin expression is un-thinkable in the dictionary of the future. What does it mean indeed? It’s nonsense, there will be no deception in a free marriage! That is only the natural consequence of a legal marriage, so to say, its corrective, a protest. So that indeed it’s not humiliating … and if I ever, to suppose an absurdity, were to be legally married, I should be positively glad of it. I should say to my wife: ‘My dear, hitherto I have loved
