by considering you incapable of opposing her happiness and avenging yourself on her for her new husband. Damn it all! I sometimes dream if I were to be married, pfoo! I mean if I were to marry, legally or not, it’s just the same, I should present my wife with a lover if she had not found one for herself. ‘My dear,’ I should say, ‘I love you, but even more than that I desire you to respect me. See!’ Am I not right?’
Pyotr Petrovitch sniggered as he listened, but without much merriment. He hardly heard it indeed. He was pre-occupied with something else and even Lebeziatnikov at last noticed it. Pyotr Petrovitch seemed excited and rubbed his hands. Lebeziatnikov remembered all this and reflected upon it afterwards.
Chapter II
It would be dificult to explain exactly what could have originated the idea of that senseless dinner in Katerina
Ivanovna’s disordered brain. Nearly ten of the twenty rou-bles, given by Raskolnikov for Marmeladov’s funeral, were wasted upon it. Possibly Katerina Ivanovna felt obliged to honour the memory of the deceased ‘suitably,’ that all the lodgers, and still more Amalia Ivanovna, might know ‘that he was in no way their inferior, and perhaps very much their superior,’ and that no one had the right ‘to turn up his nose at him.’ Perhaps the chief element was that peculiar ‘poor man’s pride,’ which compels many poor people to spend their last savings on some traditional social ceremony, sim-ply in order to do ‘like other people,’ and not to ‘be looked down upon.’ It is very probable, too, that Katerina Ivanovna longed on this occasion, at the moment when she seemed to be abandoned by everyone, to show those ‘wretched con-temptible lodgers’ that she knew ‘how to do things, how to entertain’ and that she had been brought up ‘in a genteel, she might almost say aristocratic colonel’s family’ and had not been meant for sweeping floors and washing the children’s rags at night. Even the poorest and most broken-spirited people are sometimes liable to these paroxysms of pride and vanity which take the form of an irresistible nervous craving. And Katerina Ivanovna was not broken-spirited;
she might have been killed by circumstance, but her spirit could not have been broken, that is, she could not have been intimidated, her will could not be crushed. Moreover Sonia had said with good reason that her mind was unhinged. She could not be said to be insane, but for a year past she had been so harassed that her mind might well be overstrained. The later stages of consumption are apt, doctors tell us, to affect the intellect.
There was no great variety of wines, nor was there Ma-deira; but wine there was. There was vodka, rum and Lisbon wine, all of the poorest quality but in suficient quantity. Be-sides the traditional rice and honey, there were three or four dishes, one of which consisted of pancakes, all prepared in Amalia Ivanovna’s kitchen. Two samovars were boiling, that tea and punch might be offered after dinner. Kateri-na Ivanovna had herself seen to purchasing the provisions, with the help of one of the lodgers, an unfortunate little Pole who had somehow been stranded at Madame Lippe-vechsel’s. He promptly put himself at Katerina Ivanovna’s disposal and had been all that morning and all the day be-fore running about as fast as his legs could carry him, and very anxious that everyone should be aware of it. For ev-ery trifle he ran to Katerina Ivanovna, even hunting her out at the bazaar, at every instant called her ‘Pani. ’ She was heartily sick of him before the end, though she had de-clared at first that she could not have got on without this
‘serviceable and magnanimous man.’ It was one of Katerina Ivanovna’s characteristics to paint everyone she met in the most glowing colours. Her praises were so exaggerated as
sometimes to be embarrassing; she would invent various circumstances to the credit of her new acquaintance and quite genuinely believe in their reality. Then all of a sudden she would be disillusioned and would rudely and contemp-tuously repulse the person she had only a few hours before been literally adoring. She was naturally of a gay, lively and peace-loving disposition, but from continual failures and misfortunes she had come to desire so keenly that all should live in peace and joy and should not dare to break the peace, that the slightest jar, the smallest disaster reduced her al-most to frenzy, and she would pass in an instant from the brightest hopes and fancies to cursing her fate and raving, and knocking her head against the wall.
Amalia Ivanovna, too, suddenly acquired extraordinary importance in Katerina Ivanovna’s eyes and was treated by her with extraordinary respect, probably only because Amalia Ivanovna had thrown herself heart and soul into the preparations. She had undertaken to lay the table, to pro-vide the linen, crockery, etc., and to cook the dishes in her kitchen, and Katerina Ivanovna had left it all in her hands and gone herself to the cemetery. Everything had been well done. Even the table-cloth was nearly clean; the crockery, knives, forks and glasses were, of course, of all shapes and patterns, lent by different lodgers, but the table was prop-erly laid at the time fixed, and Amalia Ivanovna, feeling she had done her work well, had put on a black silk dress and a cap with new mourning ribbons and met the returning party with some pride. This pride, though justifiable, dis-pleased Katerina Ivanovna for some reason: ‘as though the
table could not have been laid except by Amalia Ivanovna!’ She disliked the cap with new ribbons, too. ‘Could she be stuck up, the stupid German, because she was mistress of the house, and had consented as a favour to help her poor lodgers! As a favour! Fancy that! Katerina Ivanovna’s father who had been a colonel and almost a governor had some-times had the table set for forty persons, and then anyone like Amalia Ivanovna, or rather Ludwigovna, would not have been allowed into the kitchen.’
Katerina Ivanovna, however, put off expressing her feel-ings for the time and contented herself with treating her coldly, though she decided inwardly that she would cer-tainly have to put Amalia Ivanovna down and set her in her proper place, for goodness only knew what she was fancying herself. Katerina Ivanovna was irritated too by the fact that hardly any of the lodgers invited had come to the funeral, except the Pole who had just managed to run into the cem-etery, while to the memorial dinner the poorest and most insignificant of them had turned up, the wretched creatures, many of them not quite sober. The older and more respect-able of them all, as if by common consent, stayed away. Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin, for instance, who might be said to be the most respectable of all the lodgers, did not appear, though Katerina Ivanovna had the evening before told all the world, that is Amalia Ivanovna, Polenka, Sonia and the Pole, that he was the most generous, noble-hearted man with a large property and vast connections, who had been a friend of her first husband’s, and a guest in her father’s house, and that he had promised to use all his influence to secure her a
considerable pension. It must be noted that when Katerina Ivanovna exalted anyone’s connections and fortune, it was without any ulterior motive, quite disinterestedly, for the mere pleasure of adding to the consequence of the person praised. Probably ‘taking his cue’ from Luzhin, ‘that con-temptible wretch Lebeziatnikov had not turned up either. What did he fancy himself? He was only asked out of kind-ness and because he was sharing the same room with Pyotr Petrovitch and was a friend of his, so that it would have been awkward not to invite him.’
Among those who failed to appear were ‘the genteel lady and her old- maidish daughter,’ who had only been lodg-ers in the house for the last fortnight, but had several times complained of the noise and uproar in Katerina Ivanovna’s room, especially when Marmeladov had come back drunk. Katerina Ivanovna heard this from Amalia Ivanovna who, quarrelling with Katerina Ivanovna, and threatening to turn the whole family out of doors, had shouted at her that they
‘were not worth the foot’ of the honourable lodgers whom they were disturbing. Katerina Ivanovna determined now to invite this lady and her daughter, ‘whose foot she was not worth,’ and who had turned away haughtily when she casu-ally met them, so that they might know that ‘she was more noble in her thoughts and feelings and did not harbour mal-ice,’ and might see that she was not accustomed to her way of living. She had proposed to make this clear to them at dinner with allusions to her late father’s governorship, and also at the same time to hint that it was exceedingly stupid of them to turn away on meeting her. The fat colonel-major
(he was really a discharged oficer of low rank) was also ab-sent, but it appeared that he had been ‘not himself’ for the last two
