At that point she stopped short, frightened at her words. But if only she had known how unjust she was to her daughter at that moment! Everything was settled in Aglaia’s mind. She too was waiting for the hour that was to decide everything, and every hint, every incautious touch dealt a deep wound to her heart.
Chapter 8
For MYSHKIN, too, that morning began under the influence of painful forebodings; they might be explained by his invalid state, but his sadness was quite indefinite, and that was what made it most distressing to him. It is true that painful, mortifying facts stood vividly before him, but his sadness went beyond everything he remembered, and the reflections that followed that memory. He realised that he could not regain his serenity alone. By degrees the conviction took root in him that something special, something decisive, would happen to him that very day. His fit of the previous evening had been a slight one. Besides depression and a certain weariness in his head and pain in his limbs, he had nothing the matter with him. His brain worked fairly accurately, though his soul was ill at ease. He got up rather late, and at once clearly recalled the previous evening. He remembered, too, though not quite distinctly, how he had been taken home half an hour after the fit. He learnt that a messenger had already been from the Epanchins to ask after his health. At half-past eleven another called to inquire and this pleased him. Vera Lebedyev was among the first to visit him and wait upon him. She burst out crying for the first minute when she saw him, but when Myshkin at once reassured her she began laughing. He was suddenly struck by the girl’s deep sympathy for him. He took her hand and kissed it. Vera flushed crimson.
“Ach, what are you doing!” she cried, drawing her hand away in dismay. She went away quickly in strange confusion. She had time though to tell him, among other things, that her father had run off very early to see the “departed,” as he persisted in calling the general, to find out whether he had died in the night, and it was reported, so she was told, that he was at the point of death. At twelve o’clock Lebedyev himself came home, and went in to Myshkin, not merely “for a minute to inquire after his precious health,” and so on, but also to look into the cupboard. He did nothing but sigh and groan and Myshkin soon dismissed him; yet he made an attempt to question the prince about his fit the previous evening, though it was evident he knew full details about it already. After him Kolya ran in also for a minute. He really was in a hurry, and was in great and painful agitation. He began by directly and insistently begging Myshkin for an explanation of all that they had been concealing from him, asserting that he had learned almost everything the day before. He was deeply and violently distressed.
With all possible sympathy Myshkin told him the whole story, relating the facts with absolute exactness, and it fell like a thunderbolt on the poor boy. He could not utter a word and wept in silence. Myshkin felt that this was one of those impressions which remain for ever and make a turning-point in a young life. He hastened to give him his view of the case, adding that in his opinion the old man’s death might principally be due to the horror inspired by his own action, and that not every one was capable of such a feeling. Kolya’s eyes flashed as he listened to Myshkin.
“They’re a worthless lot — Ganya and Varya and Ptitsyn! I’m not going to quarrel with them, but our paths lie apart from this moment. Ah, prince, I’ve had so many new feelings since yesterday! It’s a lesson for me! I consider that my mother, too, is entirely my responsibility now; though she’s provided for at Varya’s, that’s not the thing …”
He jumped up, remembering that he was expected at home, hurriedly asked after Myshkin’s health, and listening to the answer, added in haste:
“Isn’t there something else? I heard yesterday (though I’ve no right) … but if you ever want a devoted servant for any purpose, here he is before you. It seems as though we’re both of us not quite happy, isn’t that so? But … I don’t ask anything, I don’t ask …”
He went away, and Myshkin sank into still deeper brooding. Every one was predicting misfortune, everyone had already drawn conclusions, everyone looked at him, as though they knew something and something he did not know. “Lebedyev asks questions, Kolya directly hints at it, and Vera weeps.” At last he dismissed the subject in vexation. “It’s all mv accursed sicklv over-sensitiveness,” he thought. His face brightened when, after one o’clock he saw the Epanchins, who came to visit him “for a moment.” They really did come only for a moment. When Lizaveta Prokofyevna got up from lunch, she announced that they were all going for a walk at once, and all together. The announcement was made in the form of a command, dry, abrupt and unexplained. They all went out, that is the mother, the girls, and Prince S. Lizaveta Prokofyevna turned in a direction exactly opposite to that which they took every day. Every one understood what it meant, but every one refrained from speaking for fear of irritating Madame Epanchin, and, as though to escape from reproaches or objections, she walked in front without looking back at them. At last Adelaida observed that there was no need to race along like that and that there was no catching mamma up.
“Now then,” said Lizaveta Prokofyevna, turning suddenly, “we’re just passing his door. Whatever Aglaia may think, and whatever may happen afterwards, he is not a stranger, and what’s more, now he’s in trouble and ill. I shall go to see him anyhow. If any care to come too, they can, if not you can go on. The way is open.”
They all went in, of course. Myshkin very properly hastened to beg forgiveness once more for the vase and … the scene.
“Oh, that’s no matter,” answered Lizaveta Prokofyevna. “I don’t mind about the vase, I mind about you. So now you’re aware yourself that there was a scene last night, that’s how it is ‘the morning after.’ But it’s all of no consequence, for every one sees now that one mustn’t be hard on you. Good-bye for the present though. If you feel strong enough, go for a little walk and then have a nap — that’s my advice. And if you feel disposed, come in as usual. Be sure, once for all, that whatever happens, whatever may come you’ll always be our friend, mine anyway. I can answer for myself…”
All accepted this challenge, and confirmed their mother’s sentiments. They went out, but in this simple-hearted haste to say something kind and encouraging there lay hid a great deal that was cruel, of which Lizaveta Prokofyevna had no suspicion. In the words “as usual” and “mine at least” — there was again an ominous note. Myshkin began to think of Aglaia. It is true that she had given him a wonderful smile on going in and again on taking leave, but she had not uttered a word, even when the others had all made their protestations of friendship, though she had looked intently at him once or twice. Her face was paler than usual, as though she had slept badly that night. Myshkin made up his mind that he would certainly go to them that evening “as usual” and he looked feverishly at his watch. Vera came in just three minutes after the Epanchins had gone.
“Aglaia Ivanovna gave me a message for you just now, in secret, Lyov Nikolayevitch,” she said.
Myshkin positively trembled.
“A note?”
“No, a message. She had hardly time for that, even. She begs you earnestly not to be away from home for one minute all to-day, up till seven o’clock this evening, or till nine o’clock, I couldn’t quite hear.”
“But why so? What does it mean?”
“I know nothing about it. Only she was very earnest that I should give you the message.”
“Did she say’very earnest’?”
“No, she didn’t say that. She just managed to turn round and speak, as I luckily ran up to her myself. But I could see from her face whether she was in earnest over it. She looked at me so that she made my heart stop beating….”
After asking a few more questions Myshkin was more agitated than ever, though he succeeded in learning nothing more. When he was left alone, he lay down on the sofa and fell to musing again.
“Perhaps they have a visitor there till nine o’clock and she’s afraid I may do something silly before visitors again,” he thought at last, and began again impatiently waiting for evening and looking at his watch. But the mystery was solved long before the evening, and the solution also was brought by a visitor, and took the form of a new and agonising mystery.
Just half an hour after the Epanchins’ visit, Ippolit came in to him, so tired and exhausted that, entering without uttering a word, he literally fell, almost unconscious, into an easy chair, and instantly broke into an insufferable cough. He coughed till the
