But then it wasn’t so easy to forget—just like that. In the first place the fucking was taboo. A week had passed, and a week is a long time when you’re used to fucking every night and in between a piece now and then—on the wing, as it were.
Every night it stood up like a pole. I even went to the absurd length of using a condom—just once— because it hurt like hell. The only other thing to do was to play stink-finger or suck her off. I was a little leery about the latter, despite her prophylactic protestations.
Masturbation was the best substitute. In fact, it opened up a new area of exploration. Psychologically, I mean. Lying there, with my arm around her and my fingers up her crotch, she became strangely confidential. It was as though the erogenous zone of her mind were being tickled by my fingers. The juice began to spill out…. «the dirt», as she had once called it.
Interesting how women dish up the truth! Often they begin with a lie, a harmless little lie, which is just a feeler. Just to see how the wind blows, don’t you know. Should they sense that you’re not too hurt, not too offended, they risk a morsel of truth, a few crumbs cleverly wrapped in a tissue of lies.
That wild automobile ride, for instance, which she’s rehearsing under her breath. One wasn’t to think for one moment that she enjoyed going out with three strange men—and two dopey fluffs from the dance hall. She had only consented because at the last minute there was no other girl to be found. And then, of course, she may have been hoping, though she didn’t know it at the time, that one of the men might be human, might listen to her story and help her out—with a fifty dollar bill perhaps. (She always had her mother to fall back on: mother, the prime cause and motivator of all crime…).
And then, as always happens on automobile rides, they began to get fresh. If the other girls hadn’t been along it might have turned out differently; they had their dresses up over their knees before the car had hardly started. They had to drink too—that was the worst of it. Of course she only pretended to drink… swallowed just a few drops… enough to wet her whistle… the others gulped it down. She didn’t mind so much kissing the men either—that was nothing—but the way they grabbed her right away… pulling her teats out and running their hands up her legs… the two of them at once. They must have been Italians, she thought. Lecherous brutes.
Then she confessed to something which I knew was a god-damned lie, but it was interesting just the same. One of those «deformations» or «displacements», as in dreams. Yes, you see, oddly enough the other two girls felt sorry for her… sorry that they had got her into such a pickle. They knew she wasn’t in the habit of sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry. So they stopped the car and changed seats, letting her sit up front with the hairy guy who had seemed decent and quiet thus far. They sat on the men’s laps in the back, their dresses raised, facing forward, and while smoking their cigarettes and laughing and drinking, they let the men in the rear have their fill of pleasure.
«And what did the other guy do while this was going on?» I finally felt impelled to ask.
«He didn’t do anything,» she said. «I let him hold my hand and I talked to him as fast as I could so as to keep his mind off it.»
«Come on,» I said, «don’t tell me that. Now what did he do— out with it!»
Well, anyway, he did hold her hand for a long time, believe it or not. Besides, what could he do— wasn’t he driving the car?
«You mean to say he never thought of stopping the car?»
Of course he did. He tried several times, but she talked him out of it… That was the line. She was thinking desperately how to get round to the truth.
«And after a while?» I said, just to ease her over the rough spots.
«Well, all of a sudden he dropped my hand…» She paused.
«Go on!»
«And then he grabbed it again and placed it in his lap. His fly was open and it was standing up… and twitching. It was a tremendous thing. I got terribly frightened. But he wouldn’t let me take my hand away. I had to jerk him off. Then he stopped the car and tried to push me out. I begged him not to throw me out. ‘Drive on slowly,’ I said, ‘I’ll do it… later. I’m frightened.’ He wiped himself with a handkerchief and started going again. Then he began talking the vilest filth…»
«Like what? Just what did he say, do you remember?»
«Oh, I don’t want to talk about it… it was disgusting.»
«Since you’ve told me this much I don’t see why you hesitate over words,» I said. «What’s the difference… you might as well…»
«All right, if you want it… ‘You’re just the kind I like to fuck,’ he said. ‘I’ve been meaning to fuck you for a long time. I like the turn of your ass. I like your teats. You’re no virgin—what the hell are you so delicate about? You’ve been fucked all over the lot—you’re cunt right up to the eyes’—and things like that.»
«You’re making me horny,» I said. «Go on, tell me everything.»
I could see now that she was only too delighted to get it off her chest. We didn’t have to pretend anything any more—we were both enjoying it.
The men in the rear seat wanted to swap, it seems. That really frightened her. «The only thing I could do was to pretend that I wanted to be fucked by the other one first. He wanted to stop at once and get out. ‘Drive slowly,’ I coaxed, ‘I’ll give it to you afterwards… I don’t want them all on me at once.’ I grabbed his prick and began to massage it. It was stiff in a minute… even bigger than before. Jesus, I tell you, Val, I never felt a tool like that before. He must have been an animal. He made me grab his balls too—they were heavy and swollen. I jerked it fast, hoping to make him come quick…»
«Listen,» I interrupted, getting excited by the tale of the big horse cock, «let’s talk straight. You must have wanted a fuck bad, with that thing in your hand…»
«Wait,» she said, her eyes glittering. She was as wet as a goose now from the massaging I was giving her all the while…
«Don’t make me come now,» she begged, «or I won’t be able to finish the story. Jesus, I never thought you’d want to hear all this.» She closed her legs on my hand, so as not to get too excited. «Listen, kiss me…» and she ran her tongue down my throat. «Oh God, I wish we could fuck now. This is torture. You’ve got to get that tended to soon… I’ll go crazy…»
«Don’t get off the track… Now what next? What did he do?»
«He grabbed me by the neck and forced my head down into his lap. ‘I’m going to drive slow like you said,’ he mumbled, ‘and I want you to suck that off. After that I’ll be ready to give you a fuck, a good one.’ It was so enormous I thought I’d choke. I felt like biting it. Honest, Val, I never saw anything like it. He made me do everything. ‘You know what I want,’ he said. ‘Use your tongue. You’ve had a prick in your mouth before.’ Finally he began to move up and down, to slide it in and out. All the time he held me by the neck. I was nearly crazy. Then he came—ugh! it was filthy! I thought he’d never stop coming. I pulled my head away quickly and he shot a stream of it into my face— like a bull.»
By this time I was on the verge of coming myself. My prick was dancing like a wet candle. «Clap or no clap, I’m going to fuck to-night,» thought I to myself.
She went on with the story after a lull. How he made her huddle in the corner of the car with her legs up and poked around inside of her while driving with one hand, the car zigzagging back and forth across the road. How he made her open her cunt with her two hands and then turned the flashlight on it. How he put his cigarette inside her and made her try to inhale with her cunt. And the two in the rear leaning over and pawing her. How one of them tried to stand up and shove his prick in her mouth, but too drunk to do anything. And the girls—by this time stark naked and singing filthy songs. Not knowing where he was driving or what was coming next. «No,» she said, «I was too scared to be passionate. They were capable of anything. They were thugs. All I could think of was how to escape. I was terrified. And all he kept saying was: ‘You wait, you lovely bitch… I’ll fuck the ass off you. How old are you? You wait…’ And then he’d grab himself and swing it like a
