You ought to get out in the street and hustle for it. You’re no better than any little French girl. You’re not as good. I wouldn’t piss away another sou on you. You ought to go to America — that’s the place for a bloodsucking leech like you…»
She didn’t seem to be at all put out by this speech. «I think you’re just a little afraid of me,» she said.
«Afraid of you? Of you?»
«You’re just a little boy,» she said. «You have no manners. When you know me better you will talk differently… Why don’t you try to be nice? If you don’t want to go with me tonight, very well. I will be at the Rond-Point tomorrow between five and seven. I like you.»
«I don’t intend to be at the Rond-Point tomorrow, or any other night! I don’t want to see you again… ever. I’m through with you. I’m going out and find myself a nice little French girl. You can go to hell!»
She looked at him and smiled wearily. «That’s what you say now. But wait! Wait until you’ve slept with me. You don’t know yet what a beautiful body I have. You think the French girls know how to make love… wait! I will make you crazy about me. I like you. Only you’re uncivilized. You’re just a boy. You talk too much…»
«You’re crazy,» said Fillmore. «I wouldn’t fall for you if you were the last woman on earth. Go home and wash your face.» He walked off without paying for the drinks.
In a few days, however, the princess was installed. She’s a genuine princess, of that we’re pretty certain. But she has the clap. Anyway, life is far from dull here. Fillmore has bronchitis, the princess, as I was saying, has the clap, and I have the piles. Just exchanged six empty bottles at the Russian épicerie across the way. Not a drop went down my gullet. No meat, no wine, no rich game, no women. Only fruit and paraffin oil, arnica drops and adrenalin ointment. And not a chair in the joint that’s comfortable enough. Right now, looking at the princess, I’m propped up like a pasha. Pasha! That reminds me of her name: Macha. Doesn’t sound so damned aristocratic to me. Reminds me of The Living Corpse.
At first I thought it was going to be embarrassing, a ménage à trois, but not at all. I thought when I saw her move in that it was all up with me again, that I should have to find another place, but Fillmore soon gave me to understand that he was only putting her up until she got on her feet. With a woman like her I don’t know what an expression like that means; as far as I can see she’s been standing on her head all her life. She says the revolution drove her out of Russia, but I’m sure if it hadn’t been the revolution it would have been something else. She’s under the impression that she’s a great actress, we never contradict her in anything she says because it’s time wasted. Fillmore finds her amusing. When he leaves for the office in the morning he drops ten francs on her pillow and ten francs on mine; at night the three of us go to the Russian restaurant down below. The neighborhood is full of Russians and Macha has already found a place where she can run up a little credit. Naturally ten francs a day isn’t anything for a princess; she wants caviar now and then and champagne, and she needs a complete new wardrobe in order to get a job in the movies again. She has nothing to do now except to kill time. She’s putting on fat.
This morning I had quite a fright. After I had washed my face I grabbed her towel by mistake. We can’t seem to train her to put her towel on the right hook. And when I bawled her out for it she answered smoothly: «My dear, if one can become blind from that I would have been blind years ago.»
And then there’s the toilet, which we all have to use. I try speaking to her in a fatherly way about the toilet seat. «Oh zut!» she says. «If you are so afraid I’ll go to a café.» But it’s not necessary to do that, I explain. Just use ordinary precautions. «Tut tut!» she says, «I won’t sit down then… I’ll stand up.»
Everything is cockeyed with her around. First she wouldn’t come across because she had the monthlies. For eight days that lasted. We were beginning to think she was faking it. But no, she wasn’t faking. One day, when I was trying to put the place in order, I found some cotton batting under the bed and it was stained with blood. With her everything goes under the bed: orange peel, wadding, corks, empty bottles, scissors, used condoms, books, pillows… She makes the bed only when it’s time to retire. Most of the time she lies abed reading her Russian papers. «My dear,» she says to me, «if it weren’t for my papers I wouldn’t get out of bed at all.» That’s it precisely! Nothing but Russian newspapers. Not a scratch of toilet paper around — nothing but Russian newspapers with which to wipe your ass.
Anyway, speaking of her idiosyncrasies, after the menstrual flow was over, after she had rested properly and put a nice layer of fat around her belt, still she wouldn’t come across. Pretended that she only liked women. To take on a man she had to first be properly stimulated. Wanted us to take her to a bawdy house where they put on the dog and man act. Or better still, she said, would be Leda and the swan: the flapping of the wings excited her terribly.
One night, to test her out, we accompanied her to a place that she suggested. But before we had a chance to broach the subject to the madam, a drunken Englishman, who was sitting at the next table, fell into a conversation with us. He had already been upstairs twice but he wanted another try at it. He had only about twenty francs in his pocket, and not knowing any French, he asked us if we would help him to bargain with the girl he had his eye on. Happened she was a Negress, a powerful wench from Martinique, and beautiful as a panther. Had a lovely disposition too. In order to persuade her to accept the Englishman’s remaining sous, Fillmore had to promise to go with her himself soon as she got through with the Englishman. The princess looked on, heard everything that was said, and then got on her high horse. She was insulted. «Well,» said Fillmore, «you wanted some excitement — you can watch me do it!» She didn’t want to watch him — she wanted to watch a drake. «Well, by Jesus,» he said, «I’m as good as a drake any day… maybe a little better.» Like that, one word led to another, and finally the only way we could appease her was to call one of the girls over and let them tickle each other… When Fillmore came back with the Negress her eyes were smoldering. I could see from the way Fillmore looked at her that she must have given an unusual performance and I began to feel lecherous myself. Fillmore must have sensed how I felt, and what an ordeal it was to sit and look on all night, for suddenly he pulled a hundred franc note out of his pocket and slapping it in front of me, he said: «Look here, you probably need a lay more than any of us. Take that and pick someone out for yourself.» Somehow that gesture endeared him more to me than anything he had ever done for me, and he had done considerable. I accepted the money in the spirit it was given and promptly signaled to the Negress to get ready for another lay. That enraged the princess more than anything, it appeared. She wanted to know if there wasn’t anyone in the place good enough for us except this Negress. I told her bluntly NO. And it was so — the Negress was the queen of the harem. You had only to look at her to get an erection. Her eyes seemed to be swimming in sperm. She was drunk with all the demands made upon her. She couldn’t walk straight any more — at least it seemed that way to me. Going up the narrow winding stairs behind her I couldn’t resist the temptation to slide my hand up her crotch; we continued up the stairs that way, she looking back at me with a cheerful smile and wiggling her ass a bit when it tickled her too much.
It was a good session all around. Everyone was happy. Macha seemed to be in a good mood too. And so the next evening, after she had had her ration of champagne and caviar, after she had given us another chapter out of the history of her life, Fillmore went to work on her. It seemed as though he was going to get his reward at last. She had ceased to put up a fight any more. She lay back with her legs apart and she let him fool around and fool around and then, just as he was climbing over her, just as he was going to slip it in, she informs him nonchalantly that she has a