Lolita
recess about me and made for the little boudoir. My step, as I say, was springytoo springy perhaps for success. But my heart pounded with tiger joy, and I crunched a cocktail glass underfoot.
Master met me in the Oriental parlor.
“Now who are you?” he asked in a high hoarse voice, his hands thrust into his dressing-gown pockets, his eyes fixing a point to the northeast of my head. “Are you by any chance Brewster?”
By now it was evident to everybody that he was in a fog and completely at my so-called mercy. I could enjoy myself.
“That’s right,” I answered suavely. “Jesuis Monsieur Brustre. Let us chat for a moment before we start.”
He looked pleased. His smudgy mustache twitched. I removed my raincoat. I was wearing a black suit, a black shirt, no tie. We sat down in two easy chairs.
“You know,” he said, scratching loudly his fleshy and gritty gray cheek and showing his small pearly teeth in a crooked grin, “you don’tlook like Jack Brewster. I mean, the resemblance is not particularly striking. Somebody told me he had a brother with the same telephone company.”
To have him trapped, after those years of repentance and rage… To look at the black hairs on the back of his pudgy hands… To wander with a hundred eyes over his purple silks and hirsute chest foreglimpsing the punctures, and mess, and music of pain… To know that this semi-animated, subhuman trickster who had sodomized my darlingoh, my darling, this wasintolerable bliss!
“No, I am afraid I am neither of the Brewsters.”
“He cocked his head, looking more pleased than ever.
“Guess again, Punch.”
“Ah,” said Punch, “so you have not come to bother me about those long-distance calls?”
“You do make them once in a while, don’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
I said I had said I thought he had said he had never
“People,” he said, “people in general, I’m not accusing you, Brewster, but you know it’s
absurd the way people invade this damned house without even knocking. They use thevaterre, they use the kitchen, they use the telephone. Phil calls Philadelphia. Pat calls Patagonia. I refuse to pay. You have a funny accent, Captain.”
“Quilty,” I said, “do you recall a little girl called Dolores Haze, Dolly Haze? Dolly called Dolores, Colo.?”
“Sure, she may have made those calls, sure. Any place. Paradise, Wash., Hell Canyon. Who cares?”
“I do, Quilty. You see, I am her father.”
“Nonsense,” he said. “You are not. You are some foreign literary agent. A Frenchman once translated myProud Flesh asLa Fiert de la Chair.
Absurd.”
“She was my child, Quilty.”
In the state he was in he could not really be taken aback by anything, but his blustering manner was not quite convincing. A sort of wary inkling kindled his eyes into a semblance of life. They were immediately dulled again.
“I’m very fond of children myself,” he said, “and fathers are among my best friends.”
He turned his head away, looking for something. He beat his pockets. He attempted to rise from his seat.
“Down!” I saidapparently much louder than I intended.
“You need not roar at me,” he complained in his strange feminine manner. “I just wanted a smoke. I’m dying for a smoke.”
“You’re dying anyway.”
“Oh, chucks,” he said. “You begin to bore me. What do you want? Are you French, mister? Wooly-woo-boo-are? Let’s go to the barroomette and have a stiff”
He saw the little dark weapon lying in my palm as if I were offering it to him.
“Say!” he drawled (now imitating the underworld numskull of movies), “that’s a swell little gun you’ve got there. What d’you want for her?”
I slapped down his outstretched hand and he managed to knock over a box on a low table near him. It ejected a handful of cigarettes.
“Here they are,” he said cheerfully. “You recall Kipling:une femmeest une femme, mais un Caporal est une cigarette? Now we need matches.”
“Quilty,” I said. “I want you to concentrate. You are going to die in a moment. The hereafter for all we know may be an eternal state of excruciating insanity. You smoked your last cigarette yesterday. Concentrate. Try to understand what is happening to you.”
He kept taking the Drome cigarette apart and munching bits of it.
“I am willing to try,” he said. “You are either Australian, or a German refugee. Must you talk to me? This is a Gentile’s house, you know. Maybe, you’d better run along. And do stop demonstrating that gun. I’ve an old Stern-Luger in the music room.”
I pointed Chum at his slippered foot and crushed the trigger. It clicked. He looked at his foot, at the pistol, again at his foot. I made another awful effort, and, with a ridiculously feeble and juvenile sound, it went off. The bullet entered the thick pink rug, and I had the paralyzing impression that it had merely trickled in and might come out again.
“See what I mean?” said Quilty. “You should be a little more careful. Give me that thing for Christ’s sake.”
He reached for it. I pushed him back into the chair. The rich joy was waning. It was high time I destroyed him, but he must understand why he was being destroyed. His condition infected me, the weapon felt limp and clumsy in my hand.
“Concentrate,” I said, “on the thought of Dolly Haze whom you kidnapped”
“I did not!” he cried. “You’re all wet. I saved her from a beastly pervert. Show me your badge instead of shooting at my foot, you ape, you. Where is that badge? I’m not responsible for the rapes of others.
Absurd! That joy ride, I grant you, was a silly stunt but you got her back, didn’t you? Come, let’s have a drink.”
I asked him whether he wanted to be executed sitting or standing.
“Ah, let me think,” he said. “It is not an easy question. IncidentallyI made a mistake. Which I sincerely regret. You see, I had no fun with your Dolly. I am practically impotent, to tell the melancholy truth. And I gave her a splendid vacation. She met some remarkable people. Do you happen to know”
And with a tremendous lurch he fell all over me, sending the pistol hurtling under a chest of drawers. Fortunately he was more impetuous than vigorous, and I had little difficulty in shoving him back into his chair.
He puffed a little and folded his arms on his chest.
“Now you’ve done it,” he said. “Vous voil dans de beaux draps, mon vieux.”
His French was improving.
I looked around. Perhaps, ifPerhaps I couldOn my hands and knees? Risk it?
“Alors, que fait-on?” he asked watching me closely.
I stooped. He did not moved. I stooped lower.
“My dear sir,” he said, “stop trifling with life and death. I am a playwright. I have written tragedies, comedies, fantasies. I have made private movies out ofJustine and other eighteenth-century sexcapades. I’m the author of fifty-two successful scenarios. I know all the ropes. Let me handle this. There should be a poker somewhere, why don’t I fetch it, and then we’ll fish out your property.”
Fussily, busybodily, cunningly, he had risen again while he talked. I groped under the chest trying at the same time to keep an eye on him. All of a sudden I noticed that he had noticed that I did not seem to have noticed Chum protruding from beneath the other corner of the chest. We fell to wrestling again. We rolled all over the floor, in each other’s arms, like two huge helpless children. He was naked and goatish under his robe, and I felt suffocated as he rolled over me. I rolled over him. We rolled over me. They rolled over him. We rolled over us.
In its published form, this book is being read, I assume, in the first years of 2000 A.D. (1935 plus eighty or ninety, live long, my love); and elderly readers will surely recall at this point the obligatory scene in the Westerns of their childhood. Our tussle, however, lacked the ox-stunning fisticuffs, the flying furniture. He and I were two large dummies, stuffed with dirty cotton and rags. It was a silent, soft, formless tussle on the part of two literati, one of whom was utterly disorganized by a drug while the other was handicapped by a heart condition and too much gin. When at last I had possessed myself of my precious weapon, and the scenario writer had been reinstalled in his low chair, both of us were panting as the cowman and the sheepman never do after their battle.
I decided to inspect the pistolour sweat might have spoiled somethingand regain my wind before proceeding to the main item in the program. To fill in the pause, I proposed he read his own sentencein the poetical form I had given it. The term“poetical
justice” is one that may be most happily used in this respect. I handed him a neat typescript.
“Yes,” he said, “splendid idea. Let me fetch my reading glasses” (he attempted to rise).
“No.”
“Just as you say. Shall I read out loud?”
“Yes.”
“Here goes. I see it’s in verse.Because you took advantage of a sinnerbecause you took advantagebecause you tookbecause you took advantage of my disadvantage…
“That’s good, you know. That’s damned good.”…when I stood Adam-nakedbefore a federal law and all its stinging stars
“Oh, grand stuff!”…Because you took advantage of a sinwhen I was helpless moulting moist and tenderhoping for the bestdreaming of marriage in a mountain stateaye of a litter of Lolitas…
“Didn’t get that.”Because you took advantage of my inneressential innocencebecause you cheated me
“A little repetitious, what? Where was I?”Because you cheated me of my redemptionbecause you tookher at the age when ladsplay with erector sets
“Getting smutty, eh?”a little downy girl still wearing poppiesstill eating popcorn in the