TÁNYA. You are Efím Antónitch.
FIRST PEASANT. That’s just it!
TÁNYA. And you are Simon’s father, Zachary Trifánitch.
SECOND PEASANT. Right!
THIRD PEASANT. And let me tell you, I’m Mitry Vlásitch Tchilikin. Now do you know?
TÁNYA. Now I shall know you too!
SECOND PEASANT. And who may you be?
TÁNYA. I am Aksínya’s, the soldier’s wife’s, orphan.
FIRST AND THIRD PEASANTS (with surprise). Never!
SECOND PEASANT. The proverb says true: “Buy a penny pig, put it in the rye, And you’ll have a wonderful fat porker by-and-by.”
FIRST PEASANT. That’s just it! She’s got the resemblance of a duchess!
THIRD PEASANT. That be so truly. Oh Lord!
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH (off the scene, rings, and then shouts). Gregory! Gregory!
FIRST PEASANT. Now who’s that, for example, disturbing himself in such a way, if I may say so?
TÁNYA. That’s the young master.
THIRD PEASANT. Oh Lord! Didn’t I say we’d better wait outside until the time comes?
Silence.
SECOND PEASANT. Is it you, Simon wants to marry?
TÁNYA. Why, has he been writing?
Hides her face in her apron.
SECOND PEASANT. It’s evident he’s written! But it’s a bad business he’s imagined here. I see the lad’s got spoilt!
TÁNYA (quickly). No, he’s not at all spoilt! Shall I send him to you?
SECOND PEASANT. Why send him? All in good time. Where’s the hurry?
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH (desperately, behind scene). Gregory! Where the devil are you?…
Enters from his room in shirt-sleeves, adjusting his pince-nez.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. Is every one dead?
TÁNYA. He’s not here, sir…. I’ll send him to you at once.
Moves towards the back door.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. I could hear you talking, you know. How have these scarecrows sprung up here? Eh? What?
TÁNYA. They’re peasants from the Koursk village, sir.
PEASANTS bow.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. And who is this? Oh yes, from Bourdier.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH pays no attention to the PEASANTS’ bow. TÁNYA
meets GREGORY at the doorway and remains on the scene.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH (to GREGORY). I told you the other boots…. I can’t wear these!
GREGORY. Well, the others are also there.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. But where is there?
GREGORY. Just in the same place!
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. They’re not!
GREGORY. Well, come and see.
Exeunt GREGORY and VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH.
THIRD PEASANT. Say, now, might we not in the meantime just go and wait, say, in some lodging-house or somewhere?
TÁNYA. No, no, wait a little. I’ll go and bring you some plates to put the presents on.
Exit.
Enter SAHÁTOF and LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH, followed by THEODORE IVÁNITCH.
The PEASANTS take up the presents, and pose themselves.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH (to PEASANTS). Presently, presently! Wait a bit! (Points to PORTER.) Who is this?
PORTER. From Bourdey’s.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Ah, from Bourdier.
SAHÁTOF (smiling). Well, I don’t deny it: still you understand that, never having seen it, we, the uninitiated, have some difficulty in believing.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. You say you find it difficult to believe! We do not ask for faith; all we demand of you is to investigate! How can I help believing in this ring? Yet this ring came from there!
SAHÁTOF. From there? What do you mean? From where?
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. From the other world. Yes!
SAHÁTOF (smiling). That’s very interesting — very interesting!
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Well, supposing we admit that I’m a man carried away by an idea, as you think, and that I am deluding myself. Well, but what of Alexéy Vladímiritch Krougosvétlof — he is not just an ordinary man, but a distinguished professor, and yet he admits it to be a fAct. And not he alone. What of Crookes? What of Wallace?
SAHÁTOF. But I don’t deny anything. I only say it is very interesting. It would be interesting to know how Krougosvétlof explains it!
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. He has a theory of his own. Could you come to-night? — he is sure to be here. First we shall have Grossman — you know, the famous thought-reader?
SAHÁTOF. Yes, I have heard of him but have never happened to meet him.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Then you must come! We shall first have Grossman, then Kaptchítch, and our mediumistic séance…. (To THEODORE IVÁNITCH.) Has the man returned from Kaptchítch?
THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Not yet, sir.
SAHÁTOF. Then how am I to know?
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Never mind, come in any case! If Kaptchítch can’t come we shall find our own medium. Márya Ignátievna is a medium — not such a good one as Kaptchítch, but still….
TÁNYA enters with plates for the presents, and stands listening.
SAHÁTOF (smiling). Oh, yes, yes. But here is one puzzling point: — how is it that the mediums are always of the, so-called, educated class, such as Kaptchítch and Márya Ignátievna? If there were such a special force, would it not be met with also among the common people — the peasants?
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Oh yes, and it is! That is very common. Even here in our own house we have a peasant whom we discovered to be a medium. A few days ago we called him in — a sofa had to be moved, during a séance — and we forgot all about him. In all probability he fell asleep. And, fancy, after our séance was over and Kaptchítch had come to again, we suddenly noticed mediumistic phenomena in another part of the room, near the peasant: the table gave a jerk and moved!
TÁNYA (aside). That was when I was getting out from under it!
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. It is quite evident he also is a medium. Especially as he is very like Home in appearance. You remember Home — a fair-haired naïf sort of fellow?
SAHÁTOF (shrugging his shoulders). Dear me, this is very interesting, you know. I think you should try him.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. So we will! And he is not alone; there are thousands of mediums, only we do not know them. Why, only a short time ago a bedridden old woman moved a brick wall!
SAHÁTOF. Moved a brick … a brick wall?
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Yes, yes. She was lying in bed, and did not even know she was a medium. She just leant her arm against the wall, and the wall moved!
SAHÁTOF. And did not cave in?
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. And did not cave in.
SAHÁTOF. Very strange! Well, then, I’ll come this evening.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Pray, do. We shall have a séance in any case.
SAHATOF puts on his outdoor things; LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH sees him
to the door.
PORTER (to TÁNYA). Do tell your mistress! Am I to spend the night here?
TÁNYA. Wait a little; she’s going to drive out with the young lady, so she’ll soon be coming downstairs.
Exit.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH (comes up to the PEASANTS, who bow and offer him their presents). That’s not necessary!
FIRST PEASANT (smiling). Oh, but this-here is our first duty, it is! It’s also the Commune’s orders that we should do it!
SECOND PEASANT. That’s always been the proper way.
THIRD PEASANT. Say no more about it! ‘Cause as we are much satisfied…. As our parents, let’s say, served, let’s say, your parents, so we would like the same with all our hearts … and not just anyhow!
Bows.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. But what is it about? What do you want?
FIRST PEASANT. It’s to your honor we’ve come….
Enter PETRÍSTCHEF briskly, in fur-lined overcoat.
PETRÍSTCHEF. Is Vasíly Leoníditch awake yet?
Seeing LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH, bows, moving only his head.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. You have come to see my son?
PETRÍSTCHEF. I? Yes, just to see Vovo for a moment.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Step in, step in.
PETRÍSTCHEF takes off his overcoat and walks in briskly. Exit.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH (to PEASANTS). Well, what is it you want?
SECOND PEASANT. Please accept our presents!
FIRST PEASANT (smiling). That’s to say, the peasants’ offerings.
THIRD PEASANT. Say no more about it; what’s the good? We wish you the same as if you were our own father! Say no more about it!
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. All right. Here, Theodore, take these.
THEODORE IVÁNITCH (to PEASANTS). Give them here.
Takes the presents.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Well, what is the business?
FIRST PEASANT. We’ve come to your honor….
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. I see you have; but what do you want?
FIRST PEASANT. It’s about making a move towards completing the sale of the land. It comes to this….
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Do you mean to buy the land?
FIRST PEASANT. That’s just it. It comes to this…. I mean the buying of the property of the land. The Commune has given us, let’s say, the power of atturning, to enter, let’s say, as is lawful, through the Government bank, with a stamp for the lawful amount.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. You mean that you want to buy the land through the land-bank.
FIRST PEASANT. That’s just it. Just as you offered it to us last year. It comes to this, then, the whole sum in full for the buying of the property of the land is 32,864 roubles.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. That’s all right, but how about paying up?
FIRST PEASANT. As to the payment, the Commune offers just as it was said last year — to pay in ‘stalments, and your receipt of the ready money by lawful regulations, 4000 roubles in full.
2
SECOND PEASANT. Take 4000 now, and wait for the rest of the money.
THIRD PEASANT (unwrapping a parcel of money). And about this be quite easy. We should pawn our own selves rather than do such a thing just anyhow say, but in this way, let’s say, as it ought to be done.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. But did I not write and tell you that I should not agree to it unless you brought the whole sum?
FIRST PEASANT. That’s just it. It would be more agreeable, but it is not in our possibilities, I mean.
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. Well then, the thing can’t be done!
FIRST PEASANT. The Commune, for example, relied its hopes on that, that you made the offer last year to sell it in easy ‘stalments….
LEONÍD FYÓDORITCH. That was last year. I would have agreed to it then, but now I can’t.
SECOND PEASANT. But how’s that? We’ve been depending on your promise — we’ve got the papers ready and have collected the money!
THIRD PEASANT. Be merciful, master! We’re short of land; we’ll say nothing about cattle, but even a hen,
