LISA. Do come, Papa!
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Yes, go, for you are getting too fat.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. Well, perhaps I will, but I must first fetch some cigarettes. Exit.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Where are all the young ones?
LYÚBA. Styópa is cycling to the station, the tutor has gone to town with papa. The little ones are playing croquet, and Ványa is out there in the porch, playing with the dogs.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Well, has Styópa decided on anything?
LYÚBA. Yes. He has gone himself to hand in his application to enter the Horse-Guards. He was horribly rude to papa yesterday.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Of course, it’s hard on him too.… Il n’y a pas de patience qui tienne.15 The young man must begin to live, and he is told to go and plough!
LYÚBA. That’s not what papa told him; he said …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Never mind. Still Styópa must begin life, and whatever he proposes, it’s all objected to. But here he is himself.
The Priest steps aside, opens a book, and begins to read. Enter Styópa cycling towards the verandah.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Quand on parle du soleil on en voit les rayons.16 We were just talking about you. Lyúba says you were rude to your father.
STYÓPA. Not at all. There was nothing particular. He gave me his opinion, and I gave him mine. It is not my fault that our views differ. Lyúba, you know, understands nothing, but must have her say about everything.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Well, and what have you decided on?
STYÓPA. I don’t know what Papa has decided. I’m afraid he does not quite know himself; but as for me, I have decided to volunteer for the Horse-Guards. In our house some special objection is made to every step that is taken; but this is all quite simple. I have finished my studies, and must serve my time. To enter a line regiment and serve with tipsy low-class officers would be unpleasant, and so I’m entering the Horse-Guards, where I have friends.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Yes; but why won’t your father agree to it?
STYÓPA. Papa! What is the good of talking about him? He is now possessed by his idée fixe.17 He sees nothing but what he wants to see. He says military service is the basest kind of employment, and that therefore one should not serve, and so he won’t give me any money.
LISA. No! Styópa. He did not say that! You know I was present. He says that if you cannot avoid serving, you should go when you are called; but that to volunteer, is to choose that kind of service of your own free will.
STYÓPA. But it’s I, not he, who is going to serve. He himself was in the army!
LISA. Yes, but he does not exActly say that he will not give you the money; but that he cannot take part in an affair that is contrary to his convictions.
STYÓPA. Convictions have nothing to do with it. One must serve — and that’s all!
LISA. I only say what I heard.
STYÓPA. I know you always agree with Papa. Do you know, Aunt, that Lisa takes Papa’s side entirely in everything?
LISA. What is true …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Don’t I know that Lisa always takes up with any kind of nonsense. She scents nonsense. Elle flaire cela de loin.18
Enter Ványa running in with a telegram in his hand, followed by the dogs. He wears a red shirt.
VÁNYA to Lyúba. Guess who is coming?
LYÚBA. What’s the use of guessing? Give it here stretching towards him. Ványa does not let her have the telegram.
VÁNYA. I’ll not give it you, and I won’t say who it is from. It’s someone who makes you blush!
LYÚBA. Nonsense! Who is the telegram from?
VÁNYA. There, you’re blushing! Aunty, she is blushing, isn’t she?
LYÚBA. What nonsense! Who is it from? Aunty, who is it from?
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. The Cheremshánovs.
LYÚBA. Ah!
VÁNYA. There you are! Why are you blushing?
LYÚBA. Let me see the telegram, Aunt. Reads “Arriving all three by the mail train. Cheremshánovs.” That means the Princess, Borís, and Tónya. Well, I am glad!
VÁNYA. There you are, you’re glad! Styópa, look how she is blushing.
STYÓPA. That’s enough — teasing over and over again.
VÁNYA. Of course, because you’re sweet on Tónya! You’d better cast lots; for two men must not marry one another’s sisters.19
STYÓPA. Don’t humbug! Shut up! How often have you been told to?
LISA. If they are coming by the mail train, they will be here directly.
LYÚBA. That’s true, so we can’t go for mushrooms.
Enter Peter Semyónovich with his cigarettes.
LYÚBA. Uncle Peter, we are not going!
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. Why not?
LYÚBA. The Cheremshánovs are coming directly. Better let’s play tennis till they come. Styópa, will you play?
STYÓPA. I may as well.
LYÚBA. Ványa and I against you and Lisa. Agreed? Then I’ll get the balls and call the boys. Exit.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. So I’m to stay here after all!
PRIEST preparing to go. My respects to you.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. No, wait a bit, Father. I want to have a talk with you. Besides, Nicholas Ivánovich will be here directly.
PRIEST sits down, and lights another cigarette. He may be a long time.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. There, someone is coming. I expect it’s he.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. Which Cheremshánova is it? Can it be Golitzin’s daughter?
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Yes, of course. It’s the Cheremshánova who lived in Rome with her aunt.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. Dear me, I shall be glad to see her. I have not met her since those days in Rome when she used to sing duets with me. She sang beautifully. She has two children, has she not?
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Yes, they are coming too.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. I did not know that they were so intimate with the Sarýntsovs.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Not intimate, but they lodged together abroad last year, and I believe that la princesse a des vues sur Lyúba pour son fils. C’est une fine mouche, elle flaire une jolie dot.20
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. But the Cheremshánovs themselves were rich.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. They were. The prince is still living, but he has squandered everything, drinks, and has quite gone to the dogs. She petitioned the Emperor, left her husband, and so managed to save a few scraps. But she has given her children a splendid education. Il faut lui rendre cette justice.21 The daughter is an admirable musician; and the son has finished the University, and is charming. Only I don’t think Mary is quite pleased. Visitors are inconvenient just now. Ah! here comes Nicholas.
Enter Nicholas Ivánovich.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. How d’you do, Alína;22 and you, Peter Semyónovich. To the Priest Ah! Vasíly Nikanórych. Shakes hands with them.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. There is still some coffee left. Shall I give you a cup? It’s rather cold, but can easily be warmed up. Rings.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. No, thank you. I have had something. Where is Mary?
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Feeding Baby.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Is she quite well?
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Pretty well. Have you done your business?
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. I have. Yes. If there is any tea or coffee left, I will have some. To Priest Ah! you’ve brought the book back. Have you read it? I’ve been thinking about you all the way home.
Enter man-servant, who bows. Nicholas Ivánovich shakes hands with him. Alexándra Ivánovna shrugs her shoulders, exchanging glances with her husband.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Re-heat the samovár, please.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. That’s not necessary, Alína. I don’t really want any, and I’ll drink it as it is.
Missy, on seeing her father, leaves her croquet, runs to him, and hangs round his neck.
MISSY. Papa! Come with me.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH caressing her. Yes, I’ll come directly. Just let me eat something first. Go and play, and I’ll soon come.
Exit Missy.
Nicholas Ivánovich sits down to the table, and eats and drinks eagerly.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Well, were they sentenced?
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Yes! They were. They themselves pleaded guilty. To Priest I thought you would not find Renan very convincing …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. And you did not approve of the verdict?
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH vexed. Of course I don’t approve of it. To Priest The main question for you is not Christ’s divinity, or the history of Christianity, but the Church …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Then how was it? They confessed their guilt, et vous leur avez donné un démenti?23 They did not steal them — but only took the wood?
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH who had begun talking to the priest, turns resolutely to Alexándra Ivánovna. Alína, my dear, do not pursue me with pinpricks and insinuations.
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. But not at all …
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. And if you really want to know why I can’t prosecute the peasants about the wood they needed and cut down …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. I should think they also need this samovár.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Well, if you want me to tell you why I can’t agree with those people being shut up in prison, and being totally ruined, because they cut down ten trees in a forest which is considered to be mine …
ALEXÁNDRA IVÁNOVNA. Considered so by everybody.
PETER SEMYÓNOVICH. Oh dear! Disputing again.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Even if I considered that forest mine, which I cannot do, we have 0 acres of forest, with about 150 trees to the acre. In all, about 450,000 trees — is that correct? Well, they have cut down ten trees — that is, one 45-thousandth part. Now is it worth while, and can one really decide, to tear a man away from his family and put him in prison for that?
STYÓPA. Ah! but if you don’t hold on to this one 45-thousandth, all the other 44,990 trees will very soon be cut down also.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. But I only said that in answer to your aunt. In reality I have no right to this forest. Land belongs to everyone; or rather, it can’t belong to anyone. We have never put any labour into this land.
STYÓPA. No, but you saved money and preserved this forest.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. How did
