5) Twenty times I have repeated it, and 20 times the thought comes to me as new, that re-lease from all excitement, fear, suffering, from physical and especially from spiritual, lies in de-stroying in one’s self the illusion of the union of one’s spiritual “ self “ with one’s physical. And this is always possible. When the illusion is destroyed then the spiritual “ self “ can suffer only from the fact that it is joined to the physi-cal, but not from hunger, pain, sorrow, jeal-ousy, shame, etc. In the first case, as long as it is joined it does that which the physical “ self “ wants: it gets angry, condemns, scolds, strikes; in the second case, when it is separated from the physical, it does only that which can free it from the torturing union. And only the manifestations of love frees it.
6) For the article on Art. When it is beauty that is recognised as the aim of art, then every-thing will be art which for certain people will ap-pear as beauty, i.e., everything which will please certain people.
7) I have noted, “ the harm of art, especially music “ and I wanted to write that I had forgot-ten, but while I was writing, I remembered. The
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harm of art is principally this, that it takes up time, hiding from people their idleness. I know that it is harmful when it encourages idleness both for the producers and those who enjoy it, but I cannot see a clear definition of when it is permis-sible, useful, good. I should like to say only then when it is a rest from labour, like sleep, but I do not yet know if that is so.
8 ) ( For The Appeal) . You are mistaken, you poor, if you think that you can shame or touch or convince the rich man to divide with you. He cannot do that because he sees that you want the same thing that he wants and that you are fighting him with the same means with which he fights you. You will not only convince him, but you will com-pel him to yield to you only by ceasing to seek that which he seeks, ceasing to struggle with him, but if you cease to struggle you will cease also . . . (very important).
9) If the end of art is not the good, but pleas-ure, then the distribution of art will be different. If its end is the good, then it will inevitably be spread among the greatest number of people; if its end is pleasure, then it will be confined to a small number (not exact and still unclear).
10) Art is I was going to write food, but it is better to say sleep, necessary for the sus-tenance of the spiritual life. Sleep is useful, nec-
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essary after labour. But artificial sleep is harm-ful, does not refresh, does not stimulate, but weakens.
1 1 ) I heard counterpoint singing and . . . 171 This is the destruction of music, a means of per-verting it. There is no sense to it, no melody, and any first senseless sequence of sounds are taken and from the combination of these insignificant sequences is formed some kind of a tedious resem-blance to music. The best is when the last chord is finished.
12) The most severe and consequential agnos-tic, whether he wants it or does not want it, recog-nises God. He cannot but recognise that in the first place, in the existence both of himself and of the whole world, there is some meaning inac-cessible to him; and in the second, there is a law of his life, a law to which he can submit or from which he can escape. And it is this recognition of the highest meaning of life, inaccessible to man but inevitably existing, and of the law of one’s life, which is God and His will. And this recognition of God is immensely stronger than the recognition of … etc. To believe like this means to dig to bedrock, to the mainland, and to build the house on that.
13) Stepa 172 related the physiologic process which takes place in the infant when it separates from its mother. Truly it is a miracle.
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This thought occupied me in relation to the doc-trine that everything material is illusion. How can illusion take place there where I do not see it? As you see it, so it takes place. You see every-thing through your glasses. That is well enough as regards all other phenomena, but here the most fundamental thing is taking place, that from which the whole of my life and of everything living is composed: the detachment from the world. And here right in front of my eyes this detachment is taking place; there was one and there became two, like among the first cells, (unclear.)
14) Every living being carries within himself all the possibilities of its ancestors. Having been detached, he manifests several of them, but car-ries in himself the remaining ones and acquires new ones. In this lies the process of life; to unite and to separate. (Still more unclear.)
I have decided no matter what happens, to write every day. Nothing strengthens one so much for the good. It is the best prayer.
Evening, February 4. Nicholskoe.
In the morning I wrote this diary and later tried to write, but could do nothing; had no desire. Undoubtedly if there be strength and capacity to write, then one ought to serve God.
It is just as gloomy. I do not pray enough, hourly.
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The Journal of Leo Tolstoi [1897 February 5, Nicholskoe. If I live.
February 5, Nicholskoe.
Still the same intellectual, creative, weakness. But I think it is almost hopeless. There was a search at Chertkov’s. S. arrived.
I thought: I, a worker, am I doing the work commanded? In this is everything. Lord, help me.
Feb. 6. Nicholskoe.
In the morning Gorbunov arrived; in the even-ing a telegram that the Chertkovs are leaving on Thursday. 173 I prepared to go with Sonya. 174 Am just going. Health better.
Feb. 7. Petersburg.
Went to Chertkov. It is joyous there. Then to Yaroshenko. 175
… I pray that I do not abandon here or any-where the consciousness of my mission, to be ful-filled by kindness. Feb. 8. Petersburg. If I live.
I was alive, but made no entries the two days. To-day, Feb. 10.
It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, silence. I was at Stasov’s and Tolstoi’s. 178 Did nothing
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bad, but nothing good either. Rather some good. Lord keep me from a spell, but I am better. Have thought nothing.
Again at the Olsuphievs in Nicholskoe, Feb. 16.
I returned on the morning of the day before yesterday, and fell ill. Yesterday I was better, wrote on art. Good.
. . . Women do not consider the demands of reason binding upon themselves and cannot pro-gress according to them. They haven’t got this sail spread. They row without a rudder. 177
I am again feeling unwell and very sweetly sad. Wrote a letter to the Chertkovs and to Posha. Am not working.
Feb. 17. Nicholskoe.
I do not feel well. I tried to write on art. . . .
. . . Received letters; an adaptation of On Life from the American. 178 Wrote two letters to Sonya yesterday and sent them to-day. 179
Having been thinking even before Petersburg:
1) (For The Appeal) : To describe the con-dition of the factory workers, the servants, sol-diers, agricultural labourers in comparison with the rich, and show that it all comes from. . . .
2) In the Middle Ages, in the Xlth Century, poetry was general the people and the masters, les courtois et les vilains; then they separated and
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les vilains began to mimic the masters’ and the masters the people’s. A union ought to take place again.
3) A hundred times I have said it to myself and have written it down : the real and only salva-tion from all sorrow is the knowledge of one’s mission, the anxiety whether you have done that for which you were sent.
4) Nearly every husband and wife reproach each other for things for which they do not con-sider themselves guilty. But on the one side there is no ceasing to accuse, nor on the other to vindi-cate.
5) They do not run after a poet or a painter so much, as after an actor, and especially after a musician. Music calls forth a direct physical effect, sometimes acute, sometimes chronic.
6) We absolutely falsely ascribe intelligence and goodness to talent, and the same to beauty. In this lies great self-delusion.
7) It came into my head with remarkable clear-ness that in order to always feel good, it is neces-sary always to think of others, especially when you speak with some one.
8) The movement of life, the broadening of a separate being gives time. If there would be no movement, no enlarging of love, then there would be no time; as to space, it is the representation of other beings. If there were no other beings,
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there would be no space. (All nonsense,
