1892
           LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN


              by Oscar Wilde

THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY

        Lord Windermere
        Lord Darlington
        Lord Augustus Lorton
        Mr. Dumby
        Mr. Cecil Graham
        Mr. Hopper
        Parker, Butler
        Lady Windermere
        The Duchess of Berwick
        Lady Agatha Carlisle
        Lady Plymdale
        Lady Stutfield
        Lady Jedburgh
        Mrs. Cowper-Cowper
        Mrs. Erlynne
        Rosalie, Maid

THE SCENES OF THE PLAY

ACT I. Morning-room in Lord Windermere's House.
ACT II. Drawing-room in Lord Windermere's House.
ACT III. Lord Darlington's rooms.
ACT IV. Same as ACT I.
Time, The Present.
Place, London.

-
The Action of the Play takes place within twenty-four hours,
beginning on a Tuesday afternoon at five o’clock, and
ending the next day at 7:30 p.m.

FIRST_ACT

FIRST ACT

   SCENE- Morning-room of Lord Windermere's house in
 Carlton House Terrace. Doors C. and R. Bureau with books and
 papers R. Sofa with small tea-table L. Window opening on to

terrace L. Table R.

   [Lady Windermere is at table R., arranging roses in a

blue bowl.]

[Enter Parker.]

PAR. Is your ladyship at home this afternoon?
LADY WIN. Yes- who has called?
PAR. Lord Darlington, my lady.
LADY WIN. [Hesitates for a moment.] Show him up- and I'm at home to
 any one who calls.
PAR. Yes, my lady.                           [Exit C.]
LADY WIN. It's best for me to see him before to-night. I'm glad

he’s come.

[Enter Parker C.]

PAR. Lord Darlington.

[Enter Lord Darlington C.] [Exit Parker.]

LORD DAR. How do you do, Lady Windermere?
LADY WIN. How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can't shake hands

 with you. My hands are all wet with these roses. Aren’t they
lovely? They came up from Selby this morning.
LORD DAR. They are quite perfect. [Sees a fan lying on the table.]
And what a wonderful fan! May I look at it?
LADY WIN. Do. Pretty, isn’t it? It’s got my name on it, and
everything. I have only just seen it myself. It’s my husband’s
birthday present to me. You know to-day is my birthday?
LORD DAR. No? Is it really?
LADY WIN. Yes; I’m of age to-day. Quite an important day in my
life, isn’t it? That is why I am giving this party to-night. Do
sit down. [Still arranging flowers.]
LORD DAR. [Sitting down.] I wish I had known it was your birthday,
Lady Windermere. I would have covered the whole street in front
of your house with flowers for you to walk on. They are made for
you. [A short pause.]
LADY WIN. Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the Foreign
Office. I am afraid you are going to annoy me again.

LORD DAR. I, Lady Windermere?

[Enter Parker and Footman C. with tray and tea-things.]

LADY WIN. Put it there, Parker. That will do. [Wipes her hands with
 her pocket-handkerchief, goes to tea-table L. and sits down.]
 Won't you come over, Lord Darlington?             [Exit Parker C.]
LORD DAR. [Takes chair and goes across L. C.] I am quite miserable,
 Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. [Sits down at
 table L.]
LADY WIN. Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole
 evening.
LORD DAR. [Smiling.] Ah, now-a-days we are all of us so hard up,
 that the only pleasant things to pay are compliments. They're
 the only things we can pay.
LADY WIN. [Shaking her head.] No, I am talking very seriously. You
 mustn't laugh. I am quite serious. I don't like compliments, and
 I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman

 enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he
doesn’t mean.
LORD DAR. Ah, but I did mean them. [Takes tea which she offers him.]
LADY WIN. [Gravely.] I hope not. I should be sorry to have to
quarrel with you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, you
know that. But I shouldn’t like you at all if I thought you were
what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most
other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse.
LORD DAR. We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere.
LADY WIN. Why do you make that your special one? [Still seated at
table L.]
LORD DAR. [Still seated L. C.] Oh, now-a-days so many conceited
people go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it
shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be
bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be
good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be
bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
LADY WIN. Don’t you want * the world to take you seriously then,

Lord Darlington?

* In DOS versions italicized text is enclosed in chevrons .

LORD DAR. No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes
 seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the
 Bishops down to the bores. I should like you to take me very
 seriously, Lady Windermere, you more than any one else in life.
LADY WIN. Why- why me?
LORD DAR. [After a slight hesitation.] Because I think we might be
 great friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a friend
 some day.
LADY WIN. Why do you say that?
LORD DAR. Oh!- we all want friends at times.
LADY WIN. I think we're very good friends already, Lord Darlington.
 We can always remain so as long as you don't-
LORD DAR. Don't what?

 LADY WIN. Don’t spoil it by saying extravagant silly things to me.
You think I am a Puritan, I suppose? Well, I have something of
the Puritan in me. I was brought up like that. I am glad of it.
My mother died when I was a mere child. I lived always with Lady
Julia, my father’s eldest sister, you know. She was stern to me,
but she taught me, what the world is forgetting, the difference
that there is between what is right and what is wrong. She
allowed of no compromise. I allow of none.
LORD DAR. My dear Lady Windermere!
LADY WIN. [Leaning back on the sofa.] You look on me as being
behind the age. Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same
level as an age like this.
LORD DAR. You think the age very bad?
LADY WIN. Yes. Now-a-days people seem to look on life as a
speculation. It is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its
ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice.
LORD DAR. [Smiling.] Oh, anything is better than being sacrificed!
LADY WIN. [Leaning forward.] Don’t say that.

LORD DAR. I do say it. I feel it- I know it.

[Enter Parker C.]

PAR. The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the
  terrace for to-night, my lady?
LADY WIN. You don't think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?
LORD DAR. I won't hear of its raining on your birthday!
LADY WIN. Tell them to do it at once, Parker.        [Exit Parker C.]
LORD DAR. [Still seated.] Do you think then- of course I am only
  putting an imaginary instance- do you think, that in the case of
  a young married couple, say about two years married, if the
  husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman of-
  well, more than doubtful character, is always calling upon her,
  lunching with her, and probably paying her bills- do you think
  that the wife should not console herself?
LADY WIN. [Frowning.] Console herself?

LORD DAR. Yes, I think she should- I think she has the right.
LADY WIN. Because the husband is vile- should the wife be vile
also?
LORD DAR. Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere.
LADY WIN. It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.
LORD DAR. Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal
of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is
that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is
absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either
charming or tedious. I take the side of the charming, and you,
Lady Windermere, can’t help belonging to them.
LADY WIN. Now, Lord Darlington. [Rising and crossing R., front of
him.] Don’t stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. [Goes
to table R. C.]
LORD DAR. [Rising and moving chair.] And I must say I think you are
very hard on modern life, Lady Windermere. Of course there is
much against it, I admit. Most women, for instance, now-a-days,
are rather mercenary.
LADY WIN. Don’t talk about such people.
LORD DAR. Well then, setting mercenary people aside, who, of
course, are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have
committed what the world calls a fault should never be forgiven?
LADY WIN. [Standing at table.] I think they should never be
forgiven.
LORD DAR. And men? Do you think that there should be the same laws
for men