534 book page, Chapter 6 — The First Interview with Smerdyakov
he was anything but friendly with Ivan on that occasion. Immediately after that interview with Mitya, Ivan went for the first time to see Smerdyakov.
In the railway train on his way from Moscow, he kept thinking of Smerdyakov and of his last conversation with him on the evening before he went away. Many things seemed to him puzzling and suspicious. when he gave his evidence to the investigating lawyer Ivan said nothing, for the time, of that conversation. He put that off till he had seen Smerdyakov, who was at that time in the hospital.
Doctor Herzenstube and Varvinsky, the doctor he met in the hospital, confidently as-serted in reply to Ivan’s persistent questions, that Smerdyakov’s epileptic attack was unmis-takably genuine, and were surprised indeed at Ivan asking whether he might not have been shamming on the day of the catastrophe. They gave him to understand that the attack was an exceptional one, the fits persisting and recurring several times, so that the patient’s life was positively in danger, and it was only now, after they had applied remedies, that they could assert with confidence that the patient would survive. «Though it might well be,» added Doctor Herzenstube, «that his reason would be impaired for a considerable period, if not permanently.» On Ivan’s asking impatiently whether that meant that he was now mad, they told him that this was not yet the case, in the full sense of the word, but that certain abnor-malities were perceptible. Ivan decided to find out for himself what those abnormalities were.
At the hospital he was at once allowed to see the patient. Smerdyakov was lying on a truckle-bed in a separate ward. There was only one other bed in the room, and in it lay a tradesman of the town, swollen with dropsy, who was obviously almost dying; he could be no hindrance to their conversation. Smerdyakov grinned uncertainly on seeing Ivan, and for the first instant seemed nervous. So at least Ivan fancied. But that was only momentary. For the rest of the time he was struck, on the contrary, by Smerdyakov’s composure. From the first glance Ivan had no doubt that he was very ill. He was very weak; he spoke slowly, seeming to move his tongue with difficulty; he was much thinner and sallower.Throughout the interview, which lasted twenty minutes, he kept complaining of headache and of pain in all his limbs. His thin emasculate face seemed to have become so tiny; his hair was ruffled, and his crest of curls in front stood up in a thin tuft. But in the left eye, which was screwed up and seemed to be insinuating something, Smerdyakov showed himself unchanged. «It’s always worth while speaking to a clever man.» Ivan was reminded of that at once. He sat down on the stool at his feet. Smerdyakov, with painful effort, shifted his position in bed, but he was not the first to speak. He remained dumb, and did not even look much interested.
«Can you. talk to me?» asked Ivan. «I won’t tire you much.»
«Certainly I can,» mumbled Smerdyakov, in a faint voice. «Has your honour been back long?» he added patronisingly, as though encouraging a nervous visitor.
«I only arrived to-day…. To see the mess you are in here.»
535 book page, Chapter 6 — The First Interview with Smerdyakov
Smerdyakov sighed.
«Why do you sigh? You knew of it all along,» Ivan blurted out. Smerdyakov was stolidly silent for a while.
«How could I help knowing? It was clear beforehand. But how could I tell it would turn out like that?»
«What would turn out? Don’t prevaricate! You’ve foretold you’d have a fit; on the way down to the cellar, you know. You mentioned the very spot.»
«Have you said so at the examination yet?» Smerdyakov queried with composure. Ivan felt suddenly angry.
«No, I haven’t yet, but I certainly shall. You must explain a great deal to me, my man; and let me tell you, I am not going to let you play with me!»
«Why should I play with you, when I put my whole trust in you, as in God Almighty?» said Smerdyakov, with the same composure, only for a moment closing his eyes.
«In the first place,» began Ivan, «I know that epileptic fits can’t be told beforehand. I’ve inquired; don’t try and take me in. You can’t foretell the day and the hour. How was it you told me the day and the hour beforehand, and about the cellar, too? How could you tell that you would fall down the cellar stairs in a fit, if you didn’t sham a fit on purpose?»
«I had to go to the cellar anyway, several times a day, indeed,» Smerdyakov drawled de-liberately. «I fell from the garret just in the same way a year ago. It’s quite true you can’t tell the day and hour of a fit beforehand, but you can always have a presentiment of it.»
«But you did foretell the day and the hour!»
«In regard to my epilepsy, sir, you had much better inquire of the doctors here. You can ask them whether it was a real fit or a sham; it’s no use my saying any more about it.»
«And the cellar? How could you know beforehand of the cellar?»
«You don’t seem able to get over that cellar! As I was going down to the cellar, I was in terrible dread and doubt. What frightened me most was losing you and being left without defence in all the world. So I went down into the cellar thinking, ‘Here, it’ll come on directly, it’ll strike me down directly, shall I fall?’ And it was through this fear that I suddenly felt the spasm that always comes… and so I went flying. All that and all my previous conversation with you at the gate the evening before, when I told you how frightened I was and spoke of the cellar, I told all that to Doctor Herzenstube and Nikolay Parfenovitch, the investigating lawyer, and it’s all been written down in the protocol. And the doctor here, Mr. Varvinsky, maintained to all of them that it was just the thought of it brought it on, the apprehension that I might fall. It was just then that the fit seized me. And so they’ve written it down, that it’s just how it must have happened, simply from my fear.»
As he finished, Smerdyakov. drew a deep breath, as though exhausted.
536 book page, Chapter 6 — The First Interview with Smerdyakov
«Then you have said all that in your evidence?» said Ivan, somewhat taken aback. He had meant to frighten him with the threat of repeating their conversation, and it appeared that Smerdyakov had already reported it all himself.
«What have I to be afraid of? Let them write down the whole truth,» Smerdyakov pro-nounced firmly.
«And have you told them every word of our conversation at the gate?» «No, not to say every word.»
«And did you tell them that you can sham fits, as you boasted then?» «No, I didn’t tell them that either.»
«Tell me now, why did you send me then to Tchermashnya?»
«I was afraid you’d go away to Moscow; Tchermashnya is nearer, anyway.»
«You are lying; you suggested my going away yourself; you told me to get out of the way of trouble.»
«That was simply out of affection and my sincere devotion to you, foreseeing trouble in the house, to spare you. Only I wanted to spare myself even more. That’s why I told you to get out of harm’s way, that you might understand that there would be trouble in the house, and would remain at home to protect your father.»
«You might have said it more directly, you blockhead!» Ivan suddenly fired up.
«How could I have said it more directly then? It was simply my fear that made me speak, and you might have been angry, too. I might well have been apprehensive that Dmitri Fyo-dorovitch would make a scene and carry away that money, for he considered it as good as his own; but who could tell that it would end in a murder like this? I thought that he would only carry off the three thousand that lay under the master’s mattress in the envelope, and you see, he’s murdered him. How could you guess it either, sir?»
«But if you say yourself that it couldn’t be guessed, how could I have guessed and stayed at home? You contradict yourself!» said Ivan, pondering.
«You might have guessed from my sending you to Tchermashnya and not to Moscow.» «How could I guess it from that?»
Smerdyakov seemed much exhausted, and again he was silent for a minute.
«You might have guessed from the fact of my asking you not to go to Moscow, but to Tchermashnya, that I wanted to have you nearer, for Moscow’s a long way off, and Dmitri Fyodorovitch, knowing you are not far off, would not be so bold. And if anything had happened, you might have come to protect me, too, for I warned
