“Look in the pantry and tear a piece off of that rag hanging on the nail.” she said. “Hush, now. You dont want to make your ma sick again, does you. Here, look at the fire. Dilsey make your hand stop hurting in just a minute. Look at the fire.” She opened the fire door. I looked at the fire, but my hand didn’t stop and I didn’t stop. My hand was trying to go to my mouth but Dilsey held it.
She wrapped the cloth around it. Mother said,
“What is it now. Cant I even be sick in peace. Do I have to get up out of bed to come down to him, with two grown negroes to take care of him.”
“He allright now.” Dilsey said. “He going to quit. He just burnt his hand a little.”
“With two grown negroes, you must bring himinto the house, bawling.” Mother said. “You got him started on purpose, because you know I’m sick.” She came and stood by me. “Hush.” she said. “Right this minute. Did you give himthis cake.”
“I bought it.” Dilsey said. “It never come out of Jason’s pantry. I fixed himsome birthday.” “Do you want to poison himwith that cheap store cake.” Mother said. “Is that what you are
trying to do. AmI never to have one minute’s peace.”
“You go on back up stairs and lay down.” Dilsey said. “It’ll quit smarting him in a minute now, and he’llhush. Come on, now.”
“And leave himdown here for you all to do something else to.” Mother said. “How can I lie there, with himbawling down here. Benjamin. Hush this minute.”
“They aint nowhere else to take him.” Dilsey said. “We aint got the room we use to have. He cant stay out in the yard, crying where allthe neighbors can see him.”
“I know, I know.” Mother said. “It’s all my fault. I’ll be gone soon, and you and Jason will both get along better.” She began to cry.
“You hush that, now.” Dilsey said. “You’ll get yourself down again. You come on back up stairs. Luster going to take himto the liberry and play with himtillI get his supper done.”
Dilsey and Mother went out.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “You hush up. You want me to burn your other hand for you. You aint hurt. Hush up.”
“Here.” Dilsey said. “Stop crying, now.” She gave me the slipper, and I hushed. “Take him to the liberry.” she said. “And if I hear himagain, I going to whip you myself.”
We went to the library. Luster turned on the light. The windows went black, and the dark tall place on the wallcame and I went and touched it. It was like a door, only it wasn’t a door.
The fire came behind me and I went to the fire and sat on the floor, holding the slipper. The fire went higher. It went onto the cushion in Mother’s chair.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “Cant you never get done for a while. Here I done built you a fire, and you wont even look at it.”
Your name is Benjy. Caddy said. Do you hear. Benjy. Benjy. Dont tell him that, Mother said. Bring him here.
Caddy lifted me under the arms.
Get up, Mau—I mean Benjy, she said.
Dont try to carry him, Mother said. Cant you lead him over here. Is that too much for you to think of.
I can carry him, Caddy said. “Let me carry himup, Dilsey.”
“Go on, Minute.” Dilsey said. “You aint big enough to tote a flea. You go on and be quiet, like Mr. Jason said.”
There was a light at the top of the stairs. Father was there, in his shirt sleeves. The way he looked said Hush. Caddy whispered,
“Is Mother sick.”
Versh set me down and we went into Mother’s room. There was a fire. It was rising and falling on the walls. There was another fire in the mirror. I could smell the sickness. It was a cloth folded on Mother’s head. Her hair was on the pillow. The fire didn’t reach it, but it shone on her hand, where her rings were jumping.
“Come and tell Mother goodnight.” Caddy said. We went to the bed. The fire went out of the mirror. Father got up fromthe bed and lifted me up and Mother put her hand on my head.
“What time is it.” Mother said. Her eyes were closed.
“Ten minutes to seven.” Father said.
“It’s too early for himto go to bed.” Mother said. “He’ll wake up at daybreak, and I simply cannot bear another day like today.”
“There, there.” Father said. He touched Mother’s face.
“I know I’m nothing but a burden to you.” Mother said. “But I’ll be gone soon. Then you willbe rid of my bothering.”
“Hush.” Father said. “I’ll take himdownstairs awhile.” He took me up. “Come on, old fellow. Let’s go downstairs awhile. We’llhave to be quiet while Quentin is studying, now.”
Caddy went and leaned her face over the bed and Mother’s hand came into the firelight. Her rings jumped on Caddy’s back.
Mother’s sick, Father said. Dilsey will put you to bed. Where’s Quentin. Versh getting him, Dilsey said.
Father stood and watched us go past. We could hear Mother in her room. Caddy said “Hush.” Jason was stillclimbing the stairs. He had his hands in his pockets.
“You allmust be good tonight.” Father said. “And be quiet, so you wont disturb Mother.” “We’llbe quiet.” Caddy said. “You must be quiet now, Jason.” she said. We tiptoed.
We could hear the roof. I could see the fire in the mirror too. Caddy lifted me again. “Come on, now.” she said. “Then you can come back to the fire. Hush, now.” “Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Mother wants you a minute. Like a good boy. Then you can come back. Benjy.”
Caddy let me down, and I hushed.
“Let himstay here, Mother. When he’s through looking at the fire, then you can tellhim.” “Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stooped and lifted me. We staggered. “Candace.” Mother
said.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “You can stillsee it. Hush.”
“Bring him here.” Mother said. “He’s too big for you to carry. You must stop trying. You’ll injure your back. All of our women have prided themselves on their carriage. Do you want to look like a washer-woman.”
“He’s not too heavy.” Caddy said. “I can carry him.”
“Well, I dont want himcarried, then.” Mother said. “A five year old child. No, no. Not in my lap. Let himstand up.”
“If you’ll hold him, he’ll stop.” Caddy said. “Hush.” she said. “You can go right back. Here. Here’s your cushion. See.”
“Dont, Candace.” Mother said.
“Let himlook at it and he’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “Hold up just a minute while I slip it out. There, Benjy. Look.”
I looked at it and hushed.
“You humour himtoo much.” Mother said. “You and your father both. You dont realise that I amthe one who has to pay for it. Damuddy spoiled Jason that way and it took himtwo years to outgrow it, and I amnot strong enough to go through the same thing with Benjamin.”
“You dont need to bother with him.” Caddy said. “I like to take care of him. Dont I, Benjy.” “Candace.” Mother said. “I told you not to call him that. It was bad enough when your
father insisted on calling you by that silly nickname, and I will not have him called by one. Nicknames are vulgar. Only common people use them. Benjamin.” she said.
“Look at me.” Mother said.
“Benjamin.” she said. She took my face in her hands and turned it to hers. “Benjamin.” she said. “Take that cushion away, Candace.”
“He’llcry.” Caddy said.
“Take that cushion away, like I told you.” Mother said. “He must learn to mind.” The cushion went away.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said.
“You go over there and sit down.” Mother said. “Benjamin.” She held my face to hers. “Stop that.” she said. “Stop it.”
But I didn’t stop and Mother caught me in her arms and began to cry, and I cried. Then the cushion came back and Caddy held it above Mother’s head. She drew Mother back in the chair and Mother lay crying against the red and yellow cushion.
“Hush, Mother.” Caddy said. “You go upstairs and lay down, so you can be sick. I’ll go get Dilsey.” She led me to the fire and I looked at the bright, smooth shapes. I could hear the fire and the roof.
Father took me up. He smelled like rain.
“Well, Benjy.” he said. “Have you been a good boy today.” Caddy and Jason were fighting in the mirror.
“You, Caddy.” Father said.
They fought. Jason began to cry.
“Caddy.” Father said. Jason was crying. He wasn’t fighting anymore but we could see Caddy fighting in the mirror and Father put me down and went into the mirror and fought too. He lifted Caddy up. She fought. Jason lay on the floor, crying. He had the scissors in his hand. Father held Caddy.
“He cut up allBenjy’s dolls.” Caddy said. “I’llslit his gizzle.” “Candace.” Father said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “I will.” She fought. Father held her. She kicked at Jason. He rolled into the corner, out of the mirror. Father brought Caddy to the fire. They were all out of the mirror. Only the fire was in it. Like the fire was in a door.
“Stop that.” Father said. “Do you want to make Mother sick in her room.”
Caddy stopped. “He cut up all the dolls Mau—Benjy and I made.” Caddy said. “He did it just for meanness.”
“I didn’t.” Jason said. He was sitting up, crying. “I didn’t know they were his. I just thought they were some old papers.”
“You couldn’t help but know.” Caddy said. “You
