yes the blades long enough Benjys in bed by now yes
it wont take but a second Illtry not to hurt allright
willyou close your eyes
no like this youllhave to push it harder touch your hand to it
but she didnt move her eyes were wide open looking past my head at the sky
Caddy do you remember how Dilsey fussed at you because your drawers were muddy dont cry
Imnot crying Caddy push it are you going to do you want me to
yes push it
touch your hand to it dont cry poor Quentin
but I couldnt stop she held my head against her damp hard breast I could hear her heart going firm and slow now not hammering and the water gurgling among the willows in the dark and waves of honeysuckle coming up the air my armand shoulder were twisted under me
what is it what are you doing her muscles gathered I sat up its my knife I dropped it
she sat up what time is it I dont know
she rose to her feet I fumbled along the ground Imgoing let it go
I could feelher standing there I could smellher damp clothes feeling her there its right here somewhere
let it go you can find it tomorrow come on wait a minute I’llfind it
are you afraid to
here it is it was right here allthe time was it come on
I got up and followed we went up the hillthe crickets hushing before us
its funny how you can sit down and drop something and have to hunt allaround for it the grey it was grey with dew slanting up into the grey sky then the trees beyond damn that honeysuckle I wish it would stop
you used to like it
we crossed the crest and went on toward the trees she walked into me she gave over a little the ditch was a black scar on the grey grass she walked into me again she looked at me and gave over we reached the ditch
lets go this way what for
lets see if you can stillsee Nancys bones I havent thought to look in a long time have you it was matted with vines and briers dark
they were right here you cant tellwhether you see themor not can you stop Quentin
come on
the ditch narrowed closed she turned toward the trees stop Quentin
Caddy
I got in front of her again Caddy
stop it
I held her Imstronger than you
she was motionless hard unyielding but still I wont fight stop youd better stop
Caddy dont Caddy
it wont do any good dont you know it wont let me go
the honeysuckle drizzled and drizzled I could hear the crickets watching us in a circle she moved back went around me on toward the trees
you go on back to the house you neednt come I went on
why dont you go on back to the house damn that honeysuckle
we reached the fence she crawled through I crawled through when I rose fromstooping he was coming out of the trees into the grey toward us coming toward us talland flat and stilleven moving like he was stillshe went to him
this is Quentin Imwet Imwet allover you dont have to if you dont want to
their shadows one shadow her head rose it was above his on the sky higher their two heads you dont have to if you dont want to then not two heads the darkness smelled of rain of damp grass and leaves the grey light drizzling like rain the honeysuckle coming up in damp waves I could see her face a blur against his shoulder he held her in one armlike she was no bigger than a child he extended his hand glad to know you we shook hands then we stood there her shadow high against his shadow one shadow whatre you going to do Quentin
walk a while I think Illgo through the woods to the road and come back through town I turned away going
goodnight Quentin
I stopped
what do you want
in the woods the tree frogs were going smelling rain in the air they sounded like toy music boxes that were hard to turn and the honeysuckle
come here
what do you want come here Quentin
I went back she touched my shoulder leaning down her shadow the blur of her face leaning down fromhis high shadow I drew back
look out
you go on home
Imnot sleepy Imgoing to take a walk wait for me at the branch
Imgoing for a walk
Illbe there soon wait for me you wait no Imgoing through the woods
I didnt look back the tree frogs didnt pay me any mind the grey light like moss in the trees drizzling but still it wouldnt rain after a while I turned went back to the edge of the woods as soon as I got there I began to smell honeysuckle again I could see the lights on the courthouse clock and the glare of town the square on the sky and the dark willows along the branch and the light in mothers windows the light still on in Benjys roomand I stooped through the fence and went across the pasture running I ran in the grey grass among the crickets the honeysuckle getting stronger and stronger and the smell of water then I could see the water the colour of grey honeysuckle I lay down on the bank with my face close to the ground so I couldnt smell the honeysuckle I couldnt smell it then and I lay there feeling the earth going through my clothes listening to the water and after a while I wasnt breathing so hard and I lay there thinking that if I didnt move my face I wouldnt have to breathe hard and smell it and then I wasnt thinking about anything at allshe came along the bank and stopped I didnt move
its late you go on home what
you go on home its late allright
her clothes rustled I didnt move they stopped rustling are you going in like I told you
I didnt hear anything Caddy
yes I willif you want me to I will
I sat up she was sitting on the ground her hands clasped about her knee go on to the house like I told you
yes Illdo anything you want me to anything yes
she didnt even look at me I caught her shoulder and shook her hard you shut up
I shook her
you shut up you shut up yes
she lifted her face then I saw she wasnt even looking at me at allI could see that white rim get up
I pulled her she was limp I lifted her to her feet go on now
was Benjy stillcrying when you left go on
we crossed the branch the roof came in sight then the windows upstairs hes asleep now
I had to stop and fasten the gate she went on in the grey light the smell of rain and still it wouldnt rain and honeysuckle beginning to come from the garden fence beginning she went into the shadow I could hear her feet then
Caddy
I stopped at the steps I couldnt hear her feet Caddy
I heard her feet then my hand touched her not warm not cool just still her clothes a little damp still
do you love himnow
not breathing except slow like far away breathing Caddy do you love himnow
I dont know
outside the grey light the shadows of things like dead things in stagnant water I wish you were dead
do you you coming in now
are you thinking about himnow I dont know
tellme what youre thinking about tellme stop stop Quentin
you shut up you shut up you hear me you shut up are you going to shut up allright I willstop we’llmake too much noise
Illkillyou do you hear
lets go out to the swing theyllhear you here Imnot crying do you say Imcrying
no hush now we’llwake Benjy up you go on into the house go on now
I amdont cry Imbad anyway you cant help it theres a curse on us its not our fault is it our fault hush come on and go to bed now
you cant make me theres a curse on us
finally I saw himhe was just going into the barbershop he looked out I went on and waited Ive been looking for you two or three days
you wanted to see me Imgoing to see you
he rolled the cigarette quickly with about two motions he struck the match with his thumb we cant talk here suppose I meet you somewhere
Illcome to your roomare you at the hotel
no thats not so good you know that bridge over the creek in there back of yes allright
at one oclock right yes
I turned away Imobliged to you look
I stopped looked back she allright
he looked like he was made out of bronze his khakishirt she need me for anything now
I’llbe there at one
she heard me tell T. P. to saddle Prince at one oclock she kept watching me not eating much
she came too
what are you going to do
nothing cant I go for a ride if I want to youre going to do something what is it none of your business whore whore
T. P. had Prince at the side door I wont want himImgoing to walk
I went down the drive and out the gate I turned into the lane then I ran before I reached the bridge I saw him leaning on the rail the horse was hitched in the woods he looked over his shoulder then he turned his back he didnt look up until I came onto the bridge and stopped he had a piece of bark in his hands breaking pieces fromit and dropping themover the rail into the water
I came to tellyou to leave town
he broke a piece of bark deliberately
